Jesus – Page 4 – The Bless Your Heart Blog

Sissy, Bubba and Sacrificial Love

One of the prayers Wrex and I are constantly speaking over our kiddos is that they will always love each other and be one of each others’ best friends. Right now, that’s a pretty easy thing for them.

Wryder was so lost last week when sister was sick. She didn’t feel like playing and we wouldn’t let him close enough to hardly hug or kiss her and he was definitely missing his “sissy.”

Every week when it’s time to drop her off for Cubbies, he’s usually ok for about five minutes or so and then the constant questioning of, “Momma, Sissy?” begins. He absolutely can not wait for 7:45 to roll around so that he can go with us to pick her up.

Last night was no different. He even asked daddy to move her carseat next to his so they could sit right next to each other. Melt. My. Heart.

During the day yesterday, we ran into Ogallala to run a few errands and let the kids hang out at the sale barn with daddy for a little bit. They had a ball, of course. Once it was time to head home, we had two vehicles and Wrex offered for one of them to ride with him (in hopes *ahem* they’d both take naps on the way home without the other to distract them). Well, obviously they both wanted to ride. How do ya pick???

We decided to let Sawyer go with daddy and as he went to get her out of her seat, brother started crying. After a second or two of thought, she piped up and said, “Daddy, I’ll stay with momma so that Wryder can go with you. I think he’d really like that.”

I was a puddle. I was so proud of her sweet sacrifice. There is no bigger daddy’s girl on the planet than this girl. She even picked out a “ranchy” outfit this morning and put bidding cards in her pocket before we ever walked out the door so she could be like him. It was a REALLY big deal for her to choose Wryder to have that privilege over herself…

We told her how proud we were of her and then daddy loaded up Wryder while I pulled ahead to get some fuel. The boys drove by us and stopped to wave…and sweet Sawyer just lost it. She was crying so hard.

I think there were a lot of factors; she’s still not 100%, she was tired and I think her decision probably hurt a little. Isn’t that how it is with sacrifices? They’re not usually painless. Learning to die to self in order to give to something else is a process and it’s not easy.

Dating someone? Gotta learn to die to yourself in some areas. Marry someone? You really gotta learn to die to yourself. Have kiddos? You really, REALLY have to learn to die to yourself. And oh, it’s a good thing…it really is…but it’s not easy.

I opened her back door and hugged on her and talked to her about sacrificial love and she just kept saying, “I love Bubba so much! I just love him so much!”

I love their hearts for each other and we do our darnedest to foster that relationship. Just yesterday, I came across this post and saved it to my phone…

Today renewed that vigor. Here’s to raising future best friends and leaving a legacy of relationship and family with them…

To my bubba – I love you dearly, too! We’ve had our share of ups and downs but I tend to only remember the ups. You’re a keeper!

And to my siblings I got when I married my Wrexy – you guys have my heart. I love you oodles! I couldn’t have picked better ones myself…

Random Rambles

So, last Friday, I wrote this lovely post about how excited I was about the weekend. Wrex and I were scheduled to go on a weekend babymoon and the kids were going to stay with some good friends of ours in Denver. We were all OVER THE MOON excited! Just as I hit post, my good friend from Denver called and one of her kiddos had gotten quite sick at school that day. I felt so bad for them and didn’t want her to feel bad about not being able to keep the kids that I deleted my post.

After a lot of discussion and prayer, we decided that based upon our schedule the next 6 weeks and just the need for some items from the big city, that we’d turn it into a family-moon instead!

We ate well, swam at the hotel, shopped til I almost dropped and just had a fun time together. It wasn’t quite the weekend I originally had in mind, but it was a good one regardless. We were just blessed that we were able to go…

He gave Sawyer a dollar and she was fired up!!

Wryder's side of the table at BWWs. That boy is HANDSY! — Wryder’s side of the table at BWWs. That boy is HANDSY!

A portion of Wrexy's paycheck sitting in the mudroom... — A portion of Wrexy’s paycheck sitting in the mudroom…

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Before we left, Sawyer had a bit of a cough and wasn’t 100% but she didn’t have fever and still had her spunk. She seemed a little off on Sunday but we thought she might just be exhausted from all of the festivities like the rest of us.

Yesterday, she told me her mouth (throat) hurt. She woke up crying in the night and my incredibly awesome hubby left me in bed and went to check on her. Her throat was hurting pretty bad and she was a miserable mess.

He gave her some Tylenol and got her some juice and ate popsicles with her at 10:30 last night. Honestly, you guys, he’s the dad we all wished we had.

She woke up this morning in BAD shape. I had a baby checkup so I took her in with me; poor girl has a nasty case of strep. We picked up some antibiotics, a lot of different fluids and “How to Train Your Dragon” on DVD. Here’s to hoping she’s 100% soon…and that it steers clear of the rest of us!

Sweet girl still insisted on a green mustache and bows in her hair before we left.

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Yesterday, we talked about St. Patrick and the REAL meaning/reason behind St. Patrick’s day. I was telling the kids that he was a christian missionary in Ireland and I asked Sawyer if she knew what “christian” meant. She said a christian was someone who had Jesus in their heart and she told me that she and I and daddy had Jesus in our hearts.

Little brother piped up saying, “Jesus me heart! Jesus me heart!” Mine about melted…

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Speaking of Wryder, he has been absolutely ravenous lately! The boy ate all weekend until I didn’t think he could stomach another bite. Yesterday at supper, he ate half of a ribeye, a cup of applesauce, corn on the cob, sweet potato fries, two pickles and then BEGGED for a piece of cake! The funny part? There was no cake anywhere around…apparently he just had a craving?!

Today, he charmed his way around the doctor’s office and hospital and scored a fruit by the foot and two suckers. Yes, that was while he was with daddy while mom was with Sawyer. *ahem*

How could you NOT shower him with goodies?!

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Tonight, we’re planning on taking it easy and doing a little rearranging in the baby room while the kids watch their movie. All of that stuff in the mudroom photo above needs to fit in the nursery or nursery closet…wish us luck! 😉

Goodbye Sure Aint Easy

We said goodbye to this handsome fella today.

Hard day around here.

We’ve known it’s been coming for a while and I have no doubt he is no longer suffering or miserable or in pain…still a hard thing.

We got Trigger from a friend the first year we were married. (I’ve known him longer than my kids or most of my friends!) I’ve always loved these dogs (Chinese Cresteds) but they aren’t cheap. No way I was gonna pay $1000 for a dog!

A lady we knew in Northern Colorado raised show dogs and Trigger’s ears didn’t stand up properly so she kept him as a pet. Unfortunately, he liked to chase cars and they lived right on the road so she gifted him to us.

He was a snuggly, spunky guy!

His favorite place to be was in your lap…or chasing goats or a four-wheeler! He thought he was a bonafide farm dog and he sure made himself fit right in!

He was my (second) main man all those days and nights when Wrexy was working late. He went to work with me on occasion and he always garnered lots of attention.

Sporting "highlights" — Sporting “highlights”

He was a little bit of a high maintenance dog. Winters were hard because he had no body hair and summers were hard because he would get burned if we didn’t put sunscreen on him. He took some work, but he brought us a lot of joy!

The way he ran around the farm when we were in Brighton was almost inspiring. He loved life and showed it!

He dropped in rank as the kids were born and slowly started getting more arthritic and less active. The last six months have been really hard on him and today was his day.

Trigger Digger, we love you buddy. You were a good ole friend…and you’ll be missed, it’s true.

We all spent some time telling him goodbye before we left for church this morning. Sawyer took it harder than I thought she might. (He had gotten kinda cranky in his old age and often tried to bite her. Sweet girl still showered him with love.) Poor sweetie cried a lot this morning, as did her momma. She laid in his bed with him, church clothes and all, and hugged him and cried before we walked out the door. It was a sad and beautiful thing.

I know this will be just the beginning of loss she will experience in this old world but it didn’t make it any easier on this momma’s heart.

We praised Jesus for the time we had with him and we thanked him that Trigger’s no longer sore and miserable.

We love you, buddy!

I’m Trying

A friend of mine from high school just lost her sweet four year old baby girl. She had a bacterial infection that turned septic and is now in the arms of Jesus.

I found out last Friday night and was so shocked and dumb founded. I was breezing through Facebook and I saw her post and thought it was going to say her daughter was having a birthday or was getting a new sibling or something…anything but that.

Having a sweet little four year old myself, it hit me pretty hard…as most things dealing with death or mommies and babies often do. I sat weeping in my chair for a good ten minutes, crying out to the Lord on their behalf. How incredibly, ridiculously unfair…

One of my biggest fears is to lose my babies…especially too soon. How soon is too soon? Would there EVER be a good enough amount of time that it would be ok for them to go? No. Not yet, Lord. Not yet.

I often feel like I’ve led a decently charmed life. I grew up in a home with two parents, even if their love and marriage wasn’t perfect. We never wanted for much and my parents did everything in their power to make sure that we were more than provided for. They were never sick or seriously injured, nor was my brother or I; we didn’t face any catastrophic childhood diseases or lose a parent before we were married. I wasn’t bullied, nor did I struggle in school with making friends or with academics or with extracurricular success. I married a man that is so much more than I ever dreamed or imagined. We’re out of debt, have 2.6 beautiful, healthy, happy children. We don’t want for much and are blessed more than we even deserve. We haven’t experienced a devastating loss or blow or catastrophe…

When you hear stories about kiddos dying or you turn on the news or venture out past your own front porch…you start to wonder…when is it gonna be my time? When will I be the one holding the cards of doom? When will it be my family that’s going through the agonizing pain of loss? Because, isn’t it due me???

Do you ever feel that way? The defense system in me rises up to be prepared and to take all the steps necessary so THAT doesn’t happen…but that’s not even remotely possible. How do we shield ourselves and our family from every kind of evil or every bacteria or virus or every freak accident or every decision of everyone around us? We can’t. We’d be exhausted. We’d be spent. We’d be dry and weary and empty. Don’t ask me how I know…

These precious people I get to call my family are just far better than I ever imagined they’d be. In my wildest of dreams, I couldn’t have designed a better group of people to share my days with; they are just something else…and the thought of losing any or all of them makes me physically ill.

I am continually dragging myself back to the foot of the cross, laying my family down again and again and again. I KNOW He loves them more than I do (so hard to really grasp that, isn’t it??) and I have to trust that He will protect them better than I ever could…or believe that I could. It’s a process. And it’s going to continue to be a process for me.

Part of the “laying down” is going to have to involve more than just my family, more than just “my arrows.” It’s a laying down of what I think my life should look like. If I truly believe He is sovereign and good and that His ways are best, I have to choose to believe that whatever story gets written for me is good and best. I’m not quite there yet, I’ll be honest. How in the world can losing your little girl be His best for someone?? For anyone??

I don’t want to find out. And that’s the crazy part, isn’t it?? That His best might involve loss, yet we hold on so tightly because we don’t want to have to walk through the bouts of sometimes agonizing pain that are sure to come just to see the other side. Is it worth it? I don’t even think I want to know…

And not that His best always includes THAT kind of loss…but there’s always a loss of something; something we have to lay down for our own good…for His best. That’s part of following Christ, isn’t it? We can’t keep holding onto the same old sinful things and expect life to be different. To live your life you’ve got to lose it…

I ran across this post from a friend of a friend who has struggled through more than her fair share of loss in the past two years. Her strength and resiliency and faith have moved me and astounded me more than I can put into words. She wrote this on January 1st of this year; the timing of her writing and my reading was not lost on me. Maybe it’s time for something new…

It was appropriately titled – Lay It Down. (Full credit to Lindsey Dennis of vaporandmist.wordpress.com…my hyperlink button isn’t working)

My rights to how my family may form
My rights to watch a little baby grow up
My rights to what my life “should” look like

Lay it down
he says
Lay it down…
lose your life and you will find it. – Matthew 10:39

It is often not until the expectations of your life come to a crashing halt
disappointment ensues
that you realize you had any expectations at all,
that you were holding on to your life.

It is the privilege, the blessing of the sufferers,
the disappointed
the broken hearted
to learn to lay it down-
to wrestle in the laying down-
to know HIM in the laying down.

And the laying down gives us room –
Room to dream.
Room to breath.
Room to hope,
to hope in the one who is the author of hope
to hope that all will not be as expected,
it will be far greater
it will be true living
when we lay it down.

To know that he knows the way we take. -Job 23:10
He directs our steps. -Proverbs 16:9
And He knows, He Knows, He KNOWS…
The why of the blessing that has come in a form you never thought would be the way he would ask you to take…
The blessed to be a blessing.

We were blessed with two daughters in the past two years, but for a moment.
To be a blessing both now and to come.

And I’m laying down the “to come”
Because just as this year I anticipated a different path to joy our lives would take,
a baby in our arms, in our home…
I could never have written what unfolded.
It was and is broken and beautiful.
And still the grace that has been given in the broken pieces is finding a way to feed our souls,
To direct our steps
To be multiplied into the lives of others.

I want to plan this next year,
anticipate,
hope
for the blessings I think best.

Lay it down
he says
and
I will give you ALL.

The blessing has been Him. ALL him. Always him.
We just sometimes can’t see it or want it to be different or think that the fullness of joy can’t really come from simply just His presence.

“No good thing does he withhold from him whose walk is blameless”
-Psalm 84:11

The goodness is Jesus, redemption, rescue, grace.
Jesus in the pain. Jesus in the joy.
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

“I count all as loss compared to the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.”
-Philippians 3:8

That’s how good it is to know him.
I see it more in the loss,
in the laying down.

“And suffering produces endurance
and endurance produces character
and character produces hope.
And hope does not disappoint.“
-Romans 8:3-5

The kind of hope that comes from the love of God
poured down
poured in
poured through
poured out.

Lay it down.

It’s the only way to love, to hope, to joy…
the kind we really want,
the kind we really need.
the kind that will pour out blessing upon blessing,
not the material kind-
the eternal kind.
The blessings that matter.

Lay down your rights,
your dreams,
your hopes,
your expectations

To the one who Loves. Who is LOVE. Who pours Love out and in and through and around…
and covers us with his love in more ways then we could imagine. -Ephesians 3:20

And let him rebuild
renew
restore
with dreams far greater
hopes unexpected
JOY found in the most unlikely of places.

It comes in the suffering
the trials
the broken pieces
the mundane places

This is where we either lay it down, or clench our fists.
This is where we learn to hope or walk the bitter path.

It is a constant, daily, moment by moment surrender.

It is a life of laying down our lives… to the one who laid down his life for us.

It is a life where beauty is found in the surrender.

Oh Lord, let this be a year of laying it down.
Of counting all as loss compared to knowing you.
That I would know more deeply what the Psalmist says:
“In your presence there is fullness of Joy.” -Psalm 16:11

It is you Jesus. Always you.
And tomorrow when I forget,
and I clench my fists and hold on to my dreams,
remind me to lay it down.
That YOU are where life is found.

I’m trying, Lord….

Wanna Join Me?

A dear friend of mine, Sarah, has teamed up with Katie Ferrell of Dashing Dish for a 30 day Fit SPIRIT challenge and I’m taking it! Wanna join me?

It’s easy-peasy and uber rewarding – what’s not to love?

The challenge will be based on the SOAP method of bible reading. SOAP stands for Scripture, Observation, Application and Prayer.

From Sarah:

Using SOAP as your guide to bible reading is a powerful way to make the Word of God come alive in your everyday life. It is especially helpful if you’re new to studying Gods word and need a place to start!

Before you begin, I highly recommend getting out a good old fashioned pen and paper to write out your SOAP. I promise you it will have infinitely more power than simply reading through the steps! And, as always before spending time in God’s word, I recommend praying! Ask Him to reveal himself to YOU on a personal level and to give you clear discernment to recognize His voice!

How does it work?

1.) Scripture: To begin you choose a scripture. We have provided a daily scripture calendar to guide you, but don’t feel limited by these suggestions. Let the Holy Spirit guide you if there is a verse He has for you each day! First, read the scripture verse. Because it’s kept short you can really study the verse. I would suggest re-reading it, using bible study apps to read it in several translations, look up the meaning of words to really gain understanding of their meaning. This is your time to really understand the verse.

2.) Observation: What did you observe about the scripture that struck you. This can be one sentence or a whole book.

3.) Application: How can you apply the observation so that it affects your life today? What is God revealing to you? How can you make His word alive and applicable through that scripture verse today?

4.) Prayer: Write out a prayer to God based on what you just learned and ask him to help you apply this truth in your life.

There’s a downloadable calendar with pre-selected Scriptures you can use but don’t be afraid to the let the Holy Spirit be your guide; just get in the Word!

You can find out more about Sarah’s heart and the group challenge here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/483359068472251/

Who’s in?? Let me know! Get out your journals and a good pen and let’s get more spiritually fit together!

Random Rambles

It’s Wednesday…and it’s felt a bit like a Monday. Sawyer had Cubbie bear for the week and I needed to print pictures for his adventure journal. Lo and behold, of the seven ink cartridges in our printer, light magenta was out so it refused to print a thing! Is it just me or does it sound like the printer needs to learn how to compromise a little??

I saved the pics to my flash drive and loaded everybody up so we could go print them in town. As I was buckling Wryder in his car seat I realized I didn’t have my keys, even though I had just locked the house door. No biggie, I’ll get the spare key. Oh. Wait. The spare is on my keyring because I lost the original. *ahem*

I called Wrex and he told me the best place to break into the house (which I shall not divulge here). I got in and went to grab my keys which I knew were on the kitchen table…but they weren’t there now. I looked EVERYWHERE. Trashcan…toy room…mud room…car…called Wrex to see if he had them…confirmed with Sawyer they were on the table. At this point, I knew Wryder must have been the culprit.

I finally told the Lord that I had no idea where else to look and I asked for His help – novel idea! I went back inside and I felt like I was supposed to put a bag of tortilla chips back in the pantry that Wryder had drug out (seriously, what is this kid’s deal with corn chips today??) and as I did, I thought they might be in there! I looked where we keep the chips and saw nothing. Just as I was about to shut the door, I saw a little glint by a bag of potatoes – my keys!

He cares, even about my keys…

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So, back to Cubbie. He go to spend the week with us and I had one happy girl on my hands!

Cubbie even got to travel to Denver with us for the weekend and we made a stop at Krispy Kreme’s so he and the kiddos could watch them make the doughnuts!

When we got home, we had three day old baby chicks that they had to check out! Cubbie even got to hold a couple!

Sawyer's favorite - Marshmallow Gravy — Sawyer’s favorite chick – Marshmallow Gravy

These two had a lot of fun together. I’m sure she’s not ready to let him go but it’s time for another adventure with one of her classmates.

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Our time in Denver was so special. We got to spend some good time with the bestie and her family – always a good time! The kids love playing with Baby Eva.

It’s so fun to watch my kids play with my bestie’s kids. It’s one of those things you kind of dream about and then when you get to watch it come to fruition, it’s a sweet, sweet thing.

We got to spend some time with the bestie’s extended family…which is our extended family. Sawyer’s Cubbie’s lesson this past week was about how the Lord gives us family that aren’t always blood, and that’s exactly what these people are. We may not be flesh of their flesh, but we are definitely family of the heart and soul and spirit.

He has been so faithful to do this for us…for me. When everyone is scattered across the country and some homes have been broken, He’s been so faithful to fill those gaps with some of the most important people in my life. I’m forever grateful…

Friday night, we celebrated family birthdays with them and it was just such a warm, familiar time. Sitting around the living room as the evening wore on, I just sat there observing the circle of people around me and thinking, “I want this. I love this. THIS is family.”

There’s trust and respect and genuine affection…there’s easy smiles and belly laughs and warmth…I just wanted to freeze that moment for all time.

The grandkids organized a talent show of sorts and about four people in, Sawyer wanted to get up and dance for everyone. While this is something she would do at our house for Wrex and I, our little introvert wouldn’t do that everywhere. I LOVED that she felt safe enough to do so there; it was so telling.

Seriously, it was a good night.

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I’ve been reading in Isaiah lately (one of my FAVORITE FAVORITE books) and this morning’s passage was so beautiful.

It was from Isaiah 65 and He talks about the new heaven and the new earth. It says, “The former things will not be remembered, nor will they come to mind.”

“Never again will there be in it an infant who lives but a few days,or an old man who does not live out his years;”

“They will not labor in vain, nor will they bear children doomed to misfortune; for they will be a people blessed by the Lord, they and their descendants with them.”

I guess I had never read those verses before?? OR maybe they haven’t meant as much as they do these days.

SOOOOOOOO often my heart longs for heaven. Usually, it’s a selfish, please-rescue-us-from-the-madness-and-injustice-of-this-world kind of thing. I’m not really ready to go without my family…I guess I’m just ready for Him to come and this new reign to begin. And I think that’s a good place to keep my heart sometimes. Not on this world…on Him and His heavenly kingdom…but it’s not always easy.

There will be a day…when all you’ve gone through…will be no more. No more tears…no more suffering…no more heartache…no more bitterness…no more hurt…no more what ifs…no more…

Until then, I will attempt to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus…the author and finisher of my faith.

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In case you missed it on Facebook this morning, my sweet boy was up to his usual food scavenging shenanigans.

I had just finished cleaning up from breakfast (in which he had two scrambled eggs with cheese, a piece of toast and a cup of milk) and sat down to help Sawyer with Cubbies when he came in munching on a taco shell. What?!

I have no idea how he even got in the pantry, rummaged around and got one out of the box…or why he thought he was still hungry.

Regardless, how could you be mad at this sweet face?

Blog Buddies

Yesterday was this gorgeous lady’s birthday.

This world needs more of her, no doubt. I need more of her for sure!

She blogged yesterday about being a darn good nonna, which she most definitely is. This blog is one of my favorites she’s ever written. SOOOOO much wisdom for you other mommas (and daddies) out there. This is the kind of parent I hope I’m becoming…one just like my Daddy.

Read up here: http://www.jeanierhoades.com/on-being-a-grand-mom-nonna/

Guaranteed to bless your heart…

Living Proof

So yesterday, I wrote about my Mema. And today? I have to brag on the Lord.

I think you may have picked up on it yesterday, but I have carried soooooooo much guilt in my heart for the past 10 years about her passing.

I think most of the guilt stems from that last time I saw her, the day she passed, as I mentioned in the blog. It was just so hard for me. I absolutely stink at awkward situations because they affect me (and hurt me) so much…which I’m slowly learning just isn’t an excuse.

Everything I blogged about was all I remembered… I remember that my parents and my brother were there and my dad’s brother, but that’s all I remembered. I remember we drove all the way back to Colorado that night, but I don’t remember a ton else. I didn’t remember really telling her goodbye or going near her and it has hurt all these years. How could I not?? How could I not just wrap her up in a huge hug and make sure she knew that I loved the stuffing out of her?

Last night, I cried for almost four hours off and on! I was just telling the Lord that I KNOW guilt isn’t from Him – I know that – I just couldn’t pin point why I was feeling it so heavily. I asked Him to help me to assuage that guilt…to receive the grace I have no doubt that my Mema would’ve given. I just wanted to make sure she knew I loved her…

Some of my cousins replied and shared good memories and it was so sweet to see how much they loved her, too. Truly a testament of her love for us.

I woke up this morning and I had a message in my inbox and when I saw the little red 1, I assumed it was from a cousin like before………but it wasn’t. It was my brother.

And? He was used as an answer to my prayer.

He said this:

Hey fyi you weren’t selfish in mema’s final moments…. I can remember that day very clearly and while you were standoffish at first, Wanda started talking to her and you and you sat on the bed with her for a few min…. It was a hard day but she knows you loved her very much and that it was hard for you to see her that way…. Love you stef

OH. MY. GOODNESS. He remembered what I couldn’t! I had totally forgotten that Wanda (who was a special, older cousin to us. I distinctly remember being little, little, little and EVERY time we saw her, she sang “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine” to me. Still can’t hardly listen to that song without crying) was there! After he said that, I COMPLETELY remembered! And I do remember sitting on her bed next to her tiny body and petting her hand.

I don’t know what I said, if anything, but I’m so glad to know that I didn’t just stand against the back wall and just be present…

My goodness.

I’m just in such awe this morning. Thank you, Lord, for answering my prayer…for healing my heart…and for a brother who took time out of his day to make sure I knew that.

While I’ve had a few more tears this morning and find myself fighting the enemy, I do feel so much freer. It still feels raw and there’s lots of emotion, but it feels different. It’s like I can smile through the tears…

He is so good, friends. He wants us whole…and free…and healed. This little story is living proof of that.

Much Rejoicing

About a month ago, I felt like my Bible time with the kids had waned a bit and I woke up one morning just thinking/praying that I’d like to just find something to teach them some basic biblical truths. I got online and searched for pre-school type devotionals and the Lord led me to one called Truth for Kids. Exactly what I was looking for, yes?

Now, some of it’s a little cheesy and the graphics are a little outdated and I’ve found a few spelling/grammatical errors, but the meat seems to be right on the money. Every morning at breakfast, we’ve been studying these basic biblical truths and learning scripture and it has been a blessing to me, too.

A couple of days ago, we learned about how the Lord makes us a new creation once we choose to confess our sins and follow Him. The little devotional talked about how in our sin, we’re like an ugly old caterpillar but when we accept Jesus to be the Lord of our lives, He transforms us into a beautiful butterfly.

At lunch yesterday, Sawyer was putting her dishes in the dishwasher and she started to say, “That ugly old…” and she caught herself. I said, “Good catch, sugar. We don’t say ugly.”

In the next second, we both thought of the caterpillar and we said, “Except for that caterpillar.” I told her that in that instance, it was definitely ok to use ugly, because that is exactly how our sin is. She said, “Yeah, I want to tell brother about the caterpillar. And I want to ask Jesus into my heart.”

I told her we could do it right then and there! (I think I might have gotten a little too excited *ahem* because her shyness took over and she took a while finishing at the dishwasher…then she wanted her blanket…then she decided she just wanted to play). I wasn’t going to force her into that decision so I just told her that whenever she was ready, Jesus was ready for her.

She came back about five minutes later and said, “I’m ready to ask Jesus into my heart.”

So we did! We prayed together. She said she was a sinner and that Jesus died on the cross. She said she wanted Jesus to live in her heart and be in charge. Then she said, “But I’m not going to change my mind.”

I asked, “Change your mind about what, sweetie?” She said, “About being married and being a mom. He can live in my heart, but I still want to stay here with you guys!”

She has been sooooooo concerned about that lately and I think she thinks the two are connected somehow; if Jesus is in your heart then you are/become a wife and mom. How sweet is that? We talked that through and she felt a lot better about it…even though we prayed about it again upstairs. 🙂

I am such a joyful, proud momma this morning. I am boasting in Christ, because every good thing about her comes from Him – of that I have no doubt. She is leaps and bounds ahead of me in this life and I’m glad she is! It will serve her well…

Thank you, Lord, that you give us the free will to choose you!

Thank you that you forgive our sins as far as the east is from the west!

Thank you that you want to be in relationship with us from a very early age.

Thank you for what you’ve done in Sawyer.

Sweet girl, you will never regret this decision – I promise you that. Your name is written in the Lamb’s Book of Life and no one or no thing can revoke that. I pray that satan does not steal the joy of your salvation and daddy and I join forces with you to push away his nasty attempts to distract and restrain you. This is the beginning of a beautiful journey and I pray that you follow close to Him all the days of your life. I pray that you call upon the riches of the Holy Spirit in you to guide your every thought and word and action. Go take the Kingdom by storm, sweet girl! We are so proud of the wonderful little sweetie you are; you bless us!

Sweet Sawyer, seconds after asking Jesus into her heart... — Sweet Sawyer, seconds after asking Jesus into her heart…

*****If any of you reading this have questions about following Christ or confessing sin or what He did on the cross, please don’t hesitate to shoot me a message or comment and I’ll be glad to help answer those. It’s a life changing decision to be an heir with Christ…one you won’t regret!*****

Happy 4th Birthday, Sawyer

Happy birthday, sweet Sawyer!!

My phone just dinged reminding me it was your birthday…as if I needed a reminder. You are in my heart and on my mind every minute of every day. At age four, I see you in your princess dress and cowboy boots waving your little hand off to the truck drivers as they pass…I smell the scent of my body spray (that you helped yourself to the last time you were in the bathroom) mixed with your coconut Barbie detangler…I feel your sweet, soft hands on my arms or around my neck and the matted fuzz of pink teddy since he’s always near by…I hear your voice singing “Let it Go” and praise and worship without skipping a beat…

You’re the neatest kid I know! You’re a little bit of an introvert like your momma, but when you’re with someone you love and trust – you are on! I feel so blessed to be able to know you the way I do…

I do believe you have the sweetest, most sensitive spirit on the planet! The way you care for me and daddy absolutely melts my heart. I love the way you leave water by my bed when you get up in the mornings and you sneak out, so I can have “a little more sleep.”

You care for my heart just as good as your daddy does. So many nights I have prayed with you before bed and begged the Lord to forgive me where I’ve fallen short and to help make me a better mother and you are always so quick to tell me I’m “the bestest mom in the world.”

You’re so forgiving – you get that from your daddy. You don’t have a grudging or vengeful bone in your body. I can recall several occasions where you’ve gone to bed and hours later called us back upstairs because you felt bad about something or were afraid you hurt our feelings somehow or felt the need to apologize about something.

You care for and protect your baby like his second momma. And? He adores you, sweet one. He wants to be just like you, I know it! Daddy and I love to see you hold his hand and help him down stairs and feed him his snacks. He’s a lucky boy to have a sister as wonderful as you.

I love your creative mind! You absolutely blow me away when it comes to imagination and resourcefulness! I love to watch you sort through the trash in daddy’s pickup to find something to block the sun or gather his old pop cups to make a vending machine in your play kitchen or the way you tape a box to the back of your pedal car to make a trailer to haul trash in. Seriously, who does that?!

Your memory astounds me; it is truly a gift! You remember names and places and things we’ve done better than I do. When you tell a story, it’s specific and succinct and accurate. I love that you can get us to Denver (or get us home) almost better than I can!

I love the way the world is drawn to you. You’re like this cute, curly-haired magnet that just sucks people in! I’m sure I’m a bit biased, but I’m also a keen observer and I don’t see this with other people as much as I see it with you; everywhere we go, people want to come make conversation with you or say hi to you or give you gifts. You have the ability to affect the world for Christ just by being YOU…people see Jesus radiating out of your sweet little face, it’s true.

You have the heart of a worshiper; a little David. Some of my favorite times with you are when we just sing to the Lord as long and as loud as we can. I love when I hear you singing in the other room, expressing your love to Him the way you know best. Sugar, He loves to hear you sing…

I love that you love all things girlie; the bigger the bow, the fluffier the ruffles and the sparklier the shoes, the better! But you also know how to work and you definitely aren’t afraid to get dirty. That will serve you well…

You have made the past four years the best four years of my life, no doubt. On your fourth birthday, I bless you in the name of Jesus! I bless you in your coming in and going out; your lying down and your waking. I speak to your future and I pronounce it blessed! I bless you with rich relationships with people who point you to Christ. I bless you with good health and a long life. I bless you with humility and forgiveness and grace and mercy that is as endless as you give it now. I bless you with obedience, that you would follow the Lord all the days of your life. I bless the work of your hands, that all you would set them to would prosper and bring glory to the Lord. I bless you with a continued love for the word of God and I bless you with His abiding presence in every way, in every day.

YOU are who I want to be like when I grow up…and you? You can stop growing up any time you’d like…