Sawyer has always had a pretty intimate prayer life, especially given her age. She is always quick to pray if she knows someone is sick or needs help or if she’s feeling really grateful. As a parent, it’s been an incredibly cool thing to watch and foster.
This past week, she’s gotten to witness the Lord answer two prayers – how cool is that?!
The first was a biggie…a friend of ours from church was on a missions trip in Africa and had a pretty major health complication while he was there. The church sent out an email and our family prayed loyally for him, Sawyer included. He had a small procedure when he was there, came home early and has had follow up appointments with specialists in the area. His wife reported yesterday that yet another doctor was stumped as to why he didn’t diewhile he was gone. We all know why…because he had a multitude of people storming the gates of heaven for his health…and the Lord heard and acted.
On an incredibly (no really, a waaaaaaaaay smaller, less significant note) we’ve had a missing person around our house. Sawyer got a dollhouse for Christmas and it came with two infants, which she named “Girl Baby” and “Boy Baby.”
Boy Baby
Last week, Wryder had “Daddy” in one hand and “Boy Baby” in the other and was scooting all over the house…and then…Boy Baby went missing! Sawyer had been quite distraught as we had looked for him EVERYWHERE; trashcan(s), diaper genie, wipes container, toy box, under the TV stand, under the chair, in the couch cushions, in the laundry – seriously, EVERYWHERE, with no luck.
Today, after searching some more, she declared that Boy Baby must be in heaven with Jesus and that we should pray for him. Wrex told her that the Lord knew where he was and that we would pray indeed. So we offered up a prayer of protection over Boy Baby and we asked the Lord to help us find him. (Why didn’t we do this sooner?!)
I was laying on the floor playing with Wryder during this whole scene and, I kid you not, about 20 seconds later, I rolled over and looked under the TV stand, as I really felt like that’s the only place he could be (even though we’d already looked) and guess who I saw? BOY BABY!
A lot of hollering and jumping and praising of the Lord commenced from all of us! Not because Boy Baby was just that precious or important, but the lesson learned was. He cares…even about the small things…and He will come to our aid when we petition Him.
These two things have resonated with her greatly and I know they have increased her faith, just as they have mine. Talk to Him today, friend. He IS Jehovah Shama…the God who hears.
One of my favorite types of Bible study is the personalization of Scripture. It takes the message of the written word of God from a epistle for everyone (which it is) to an epistle for me (which it is). For me, personalization really makes Scripture come alive and it helps me take ownership of the truth in His word. Part of the personalization process involves reading other translations and breaking down the verbage, so for a lover of words and their meanings, that part appeals to me, too.
How to personalize Scripture (for this example, we’ll look at Ephesians 6:10-18)
1. Pray and ask the Lord to teach you and to show you HIs perfect and personal word for you.
2. Read a passage of Scripture to yourself.
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.
3. Read it aloud.
4. Underline words or phrases that really catch your attention.
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.
5. Read some different versions and use them to gain deeper understanding of the text.
10 In conclusion, be strong in the Lord [be empowered through your union with Him]; draw your strength from Him [that strength which His boundless might provides]. 11 Put on God’s whole armor [the armor of a heavy-armed soldier which God supplies], that you may be able successfully to stand up against [all] the strategies and the deceits of the devil. 12 For we are not wrestling with flesh and blood [contending only with physical opponents], but against the despotisms, against the powers, against [the master spirits who are] the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spirit forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) sphere. 13 Therefore put on God’s complete armor, that you may be able to resist and stand your ground on the evil day [of danger], and, having done all [the crisis demands], to stand [firmly in your place]. 14 Stand therefore [hold your ground], having tightened the belt of truth around your loins and having put on the breastplate of integrity and of moral rectitude and right standing with God, 15 And having shod your feet in preparation [to face the enemy with the [a]firm-footed stability, the promptness, and the readiness [b]produced by the good news] of the Gospel of peace. 16 Lift up over all the [covering] shield of [c]saving faith, upon which you can quench all the flaming missiles of the wicked [one]. 17 And take the helmet of salvation and the sword that the Spirit [d]wields, which is the Word of God. 18 Pray at all times (on every occasion, in every season) in the Spirit, with all [manner of] prayer and entreaty. To that end keep alert and watch with strong purpose and perseverance, interceding in behalf of all the saints (God’s consecrated people).
6. Copy the text as written.
7. Re-write the text in first person.
I must be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. I will put on all of His armor so that I will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. I am not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
Therefore, I will put on every piece of God’s armor so I will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle I will still be standing firm. I will stand my ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, I will put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that I will be fully prepared.In addition to all of these, I will hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. I will put on salvation as my helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
I will pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. I will stay alert and be persistent in my prayers for all believers everywhere.
8. Expand the text.
Write alternate meanings for words/phrases
Write it out in your own words
Write it as a personal prayer
I must be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. There is no one stronger than Him! All He possess, I possess through His Spirit. I will put on all of His armor so that I will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. It is possible to stand firm! That’s what His word is saying – it is possible! I am not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. I am fighting the devil himself.
Therefore, I will put on every piece of God’s armor so I will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. I WILL be able to resist his schemes. Then after the battle I will still be standing firm. I will succeed! I will triumph victorious! I will stand my ground; I will not waiver; I will not be moved. I will put on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, I will put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that I will be fully prepared.In addition to all of these, I will hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil, because they WILL come…but can be prepared. I will put on salvation as my helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Is there a more powerful weapon than He?
I will pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. I will stay alert and be persistent in my prayers for all believers everywhere.
9. Pray through the passage.
Oh, you guys…even just taking these few minutes to run through this passage simply and quickly has sooooo ministered to my heart. Reading and re-reading and expanding and making it my own just brings so much understanding – and not just regarding the text – but about the Author of the text…and isn’t that the point? Intimate fellowship with Him as we study His word and apply it to our life = the key to Biblical study, and personalization does just that.
Dora the Explorer and I have a love/hate relationship. Sawyer used to really, really like watching her and it brought me joy because it brought her joy, but she has slowly grown out of that phase.
Halloween 2012 – Dora, Dora, Dora, Dora, Dora!She’s that super cool exploradora…
I mean, it’s sort of a cute little show; Map is adorable, as is Boots…they always have a goal, a place in mind that they have to get to…but I’ve noticed an increase in the number of times I have to get up and shut it off because of witches or wizards or other crazy characters casting spells. As a Bible believing family, we’re just not going to support that kind of stuff, especially in children’s programming. Same for the overly dramatic, whiny, disrespectful characters that are in way too many shows. Aint nobody got time for that!
As a parent, it is my God appointed responsibility to act as a gatekeeper for my kiddos. Our eyes and ears are two huge camps of infiltration and our babies don’t have the full capacity or discernment yet to know when something is trying to come in and inflict warfare on their hearts and minds.
Even though she only gets to watch a (heavily regulated) show a day, there is still sooooooo much stuff all around us that she’s exposed to – radio commercials, stories from other kids, loud phone conversations, pictures that pop up in Google search results (when only searching for “silly kitties”), attitudes and words from neighboring diners in restaurants, magazine racks at the checkout line, spending time with other peoples’ children – the list could go on and on.
At this young and impressionable age, if other peoples’ kids are treating each children disrespectfully (including yours) or don’t get disciplined (or get disciplined poorly or not in love) or have issues with physicality – don’t subject your kids to that! This can be so hard, especially if you really enjoy spending time with the parents of said children, but it’s just not worth it. One, they need to be in a place that feel safe and secure and if they’re getting beat up or verbally assaulted every time they “play” together, then they aren’t safe and secure. Two, they’re gonna bring that stuff home and we can’t be (or at least I’m not) willing to let that happen.
It’s my job to protect my babies from some of the things they’re just absolutely too young to think on, and to talk through and counter the rest with the Truth – the Word of God. I’m not saying you need to shelter them their entire lives and then just throw them to the wolves one day when it’s time to leave the nest, but I am saying that we have to be intentional about what and who they surround themselves with, even at age three.
We have to act with purpose by planting the wisdom and truth of the Lord into their hearts. Unfortunately, it’s not just going to happen on it’s own. We have to take an active stance and it’s going to take some (more) of our precious, dedicated time. (Have you ever had to die to yourself so much in your entire life?!? Yeah, me either…)
But? They will be better for it (and so will we). They will be well equipped with truth to combat the hundreds of lies thrown at them by the world every day. They will have a firm foundation of the Word of the Lord so that they can begin to navigate these things for themselves. They will be filled with the wisdom and discernment that comes from being saturated in Him…and they will begin to see themselves and others through the lens of the Lord and not the the lens of the world. Their hearts and words and actions and thoughts will bear the fruit of the Spirit – it will have no other option!
Guess what all of that means for us as parents? We have to do those same things for ourselves, too. We have to be cognizant of what we’re seeing and hearing and thinking on. We have to be led by the Spirit…we have to be full of wisdom and discernment…we have to be basking in His Word or else we won’t be able to give it away to the littles.
This post comes on the heels of 1.) the Grammy’s, which I did not watch but too many of my friends and their kids did (and I wished they wouldn’t have…see above) and 2.) an overly embarrassing episode in our home last night. As I was putting a spoon in the sink, our glass, dish soap holder fell (loudly) in the sink and scared the daylights out of me! (Me? Jumpy and high strung? Never. Ahem.) Before I had even uttered anything except a small scream, Sawyer said, “Oh, shed.” Yeah. Isn’t that nice. I’m pretty sure she wasn’t referring to the little building where we store the lawn mowers. Apparently, ahem, I have a habit of saying a semblance of that lovely phrase often enough for her to notice. I mean, we don’t go too many places for her to pick this language up, so I’m gonna have to call dibs on this one.
I turned around and asked what she said and she replied, “Oh, shed. That’s what we say when we drop something.” Nice one, mom. Dora should be the least of my worries, eh?
So, we then got to have a talk about how imperfect mommy is and how I don’t always say things that honor Jesus, but that I need to work on that. We talked about how out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks and that I need to do some work on my heart so that my reactions when I get flustered or scared are more righteous.
So now that I’ve completely outed myself (embarrassed, flustered, red face, queasy stomach and all), I hope to practice more of what I’ve preached here. Lord, help me. And I’m hoping you’ll still let your kids come over – I really try to make a point not to use curse words, really, I do.
The point is, evil/vile/sinful things, thoughts and words are all around us vying for a piece of our allegiance. We have to do our best to protect the gates of our homes and the gates of the homes of our souls – our hearts. Let us love righteousness and hate sin…and watch less Dora…because that’s probably good for everyone.
I was playing dollhouse with Sawyer tonight when I jokingly pulled her pajama pants down to be funny. She reached down and grabbed them and cinched them back up with ease and my memory recalled a time when she was too little to do that on her own.
She has grown up so much here lately…too much for me, sometimes. I just want to freeze time right now, right in these moments we’re in, and just live here forever; is that too much to ask? These are some of the best days of my life, of that I am sure.
I love to hear all of the songs sings; the ones she makes up and the ones she knows by heart. When she belts out Amazing Grace and raises her hands to the Lord in worship to Him, I just about melt. (I know He has to about do the same).
I love her little laugh when something really tickles her. You can’t help but laugh right along with her.
I love the little ticks she and repetitions she’s designed for herself…like smelling the candle in the bathroom every time she’s in there…or her tooth brushing routine (it’s quite detailed)…or how she “starts” the dryer by pushing her little system of “buttons.”
I love how she gets so excited to wear pretty dresses and sparkly shoes and likes to change clothes several times a day.
I love how she loves her little brother. She always wants to hold him and help him and play with him. She is sooooo ready for him to walk, but until then, I’ll “take bubba into the toy room” for her every time she asks.
I love the elaborate picnics and birthday parties she creates in the toy room. There is always food and dishes and treats galore; she takes such care in making the occasion special.
I love to hear her speak truth to our entire family (and all of her dolls and toys for that matter). When “boy baby” gets scared in the dollhouse, she reminds him that Jesus is always with us…and when we dig in without thanking the Lord for our food, she’s quick to remind us that we should pray…or when she gets a word from the Lord, she’s always quick to share.
I love her gentle spirit and how quick she is to accept correction. Discipline isn’t always fun and sometimes it downright kills me and she always receives it with such grace…and the times I don’t do it right, she’s always so quick to forgive.
I love how in the mornings, she wants to come snuggle us if she wakes up first. She’ll be really still for a few minutes and then you find her kissing all over you and petting you; can’t get upset about that.
I love how she likes to make graham cracker soup (broken up graham crackers in milk) and how she likes to dip everything in ranch…how she won’t eat the ends of her pickles and how she’ll lick a salt shaker given half a chance.
I love her mind and her penchant for learning. She’s so interested in space and planets and making letters and numbers and counting and patterns and cattle breeds – and I could go on and on and on! She’s a little sponge and it’s so fun to get to research and teach her and show her more of the things she’s interested in.
I love how she loves to make pictures and drawings and in doing so, always use crayons and stamps and markers and map colors and stickers and scissors and glue and creates a complete masterpiece! She loves office supplies; a girl after my own heart.
I love how she likes to hold hands and give hugs and cover you in kisses. I will never get enough of those.
I love how much care she gives our dog Trigger, even though he doesn’t always return the favor. She’ll go out and pray over him and color pictures for him…she always makes sure he has food and water…and she gives him about 10 little treat bones a day, even though he tries to bite her every time she does. Her heart holds no grudge. I need to be more like her.
She is such a special little girl. I know I’m biased, but she really is. I never imagined I would be this blessed. She makes me want to do better, to live better, to eat better, to speak better, to think better, to love better, to forgive better, to play better, to be better.
Lord, help me to make these days count. It feels like I look up again and it’s Friday and a whole week has gone by…and pretty soon I’m gonna wake up and she’s gonna be four…and then 10…and then 16…and then…I can’t even let myself go to the ‘and then’…
Being a mommy is hard on the heart; to know something so intimately and to love something so completely and then to let it grow and let it go just seems so……cruel. I suppose women have done it for thousands of years before me…and I’m sure I’ll survive…but if I had my way…….
I think I’ve mentioned it before, but Sawyer has ministered to us on several occasions and in several different ways. It always catches me off guard…I guess I’m not used to that quite yet…but it’s such a sweet, sweet thing.
Friday, before we left, I went to wake her up from her nap. She was already awake and I could tell she was whispering/talking. She said, “Mom, I’ve been thinking about Jesus!” (Words a momma delights to hear, let me tell ya!) And then…
She pulled me close to her and she laid her little hands on my head and just kept saying, “God is powerful and mighty. He is always with us. I love our God and He loves us. He is good and what He does is good.” Just over and over. At one point I kind of leaned up and she pulled me back down and continued speaking that over me. It was such a blessed, anointed little moment.
I assured her that what she had heard and what she was speaking WAS indeed truth and that it blessed me…immensely.
I pray that she always lends herself to the Lord…that she listens for His voice and shares when she’s supposed to share. I pray that she follows Him all the days of her life. I pray that everything that she puts her hands to will prosper. I pray that she will never feel ashamed of sharing His news, His story, His word…she can change her corner of the world by doing so.
Today is the last day of 2013 and I’m not all that excited to see it go. It’s been a year of more mountain tops than valleys, so it’s not like I’m just dying to rush it out and ring something else in.
Time just keeps ticking and ticking and ticking on by – where did 2013 go?!Days with my Wrexy seem shorter and my kids keep growing up without permission! While it is such a joy to see the little adults they are becoming, I don’t want to miss a single day with any of them. I want to take it slow and press it all into the wrinkles in my brain so I don’t forget these days. My life with my little family is significantly more blessed than I ever could’ve imagine for myself. Who am I that He would bestow such merciful blessings on me?
Highlights of 2013
We were blessed with a sweet baby boy (on tax day – he’s redeeming it!)…
Isn’t he the cutest?! He was about 5 hours old here…
Sawyer turned 3 and got to celebrate with a host of family and friends…
She requested a cat party so cat party we had!
We got to go on a vacation to Denver and make lots of memories as a family…
At the Children’s Museum – one of many fun stops!
Sawyer got to show her first goat…
She’s a natural!
We celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary by bowling as a family…
Wryder slept and the rest of us had fun!
We traveled to Kansas to witness one of our best friends’ wedding…
Wrexy and Adam…
I got to act out my obedience to the Lord and start this blog…
It’s been SUCH a blessing!
Sawyer got to be in our neighbor’s wedding…
Dancing with the groom!
We got to spend time with the majority of the Phipps family at a cousin’s wedding…
Just missing a few!
Add all of that to everyday blessings plus visits from family and friends…
Love these people!
2013 was good!
Where did it go? It went by in family dinners, road trips and snuggle sessions…in Cubbies meetings, sale barns and swimming pools…in weddings and pony rides and birthday parties and midnight feedings and suppers in the kitchen and jumps on the trampoline…those everyday moments that make up minutes and hours and days and weeks and months and years and LIFE. I sit here sentimental, cherishing each one…
but I shall embrace 2014 just the same.
You are good and do only good; teach me your decrees.
The Lord has been so good to us…and we pray…
…let 2014 be more about You and less about us.
…let 2014 be more full of grace and love and mercy and kindness and self-discipline and joy and less of their oppositions.
…let 2014 be more about Your will and less about ours.
Sawyer is such an amazing little girl, if I do say so myself. She has such an inquisitive nature and has always been really interested in learning. On top of that, her memory is absolutely incredible. She’s been memorizing scripture ever since she was about 18 months old and she has well over 50 verses committed to memory right now. We are careful to foster these things in her and to fill her mind with things worth remembering – thus the Jesse Tree.
Our “tree” part isn’t so pretty. I’ll work on that for next year – ha! This was the we gotta get this ready to go by December version…
The Jesse Tree is our version of Christmas advent calendar. I love this season as much as anyone and while I’m completely game for baking cookies and making ornaments and having fun experiences, I also want her to really get WHO we’re celebrating and WHY. So, while we definitely do those things, we attempt make our main focus JESUS.
Each night, we take an ornament piece, a person in the lineage of Christ, and learn about them and how they are tied to, and point to, Jesus.
These are pretty easy to identify, yes?
Jesus was promised by God to His people long before He was born. In Isaiah, we read that Jesus would be a “shoot,” like a new sprout that grows on a bush or tree, from the family tree of Jesse. Jesse was the father of David, a great king of Israel, and Jesus was born 1,000 years after Him. The tree starts at creation and points to the coming of the Messiah with each story.
There’s a rich history on this board…
I feel like she learned quite a bit last year, but this year she has just amazed me with how much she’s taking away from every scripture. And? It’s good for her mom and dad, too. In a world that has watered down the true meaning of the mass of Christ, it’s so good to reset our focus on HIM.
You can find quite a few different versions online if you want to do this at your own house – which I highly encourage. We got this pattern from a woman at our old church back in Denver and it has served us well so far.
I pray you keep your minds and eyes and ears and hearts attuned to One whom we celebrate this season..the shoot of Jesse, that bears new fruit…
Out of the stump of David’s family will grow a shoot— yes, a new Branch bearing fruit from the old root. And the Spirit of the Lord will rest on him— the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord. He will delight in obeying the Lord. He will not judge by appearance nor make a decision based on hearsay. He will give justice to the poor and make fair decisions for the exploited. The earth will shake at the force of his word, and one breath from his mouth will destroy the wicked. He will wear righteousness like a belt and truth like an undergarment.
In that day the heir to David’s throne will be a banner of salvation to all the world. The nations will rally to him, and the land where he lives will be a glorious place.
The Phipps family is heading to Denver to celebrate Thanksgiving with our family in the faith and we are soooooo excited! We’ve made a few quick trips now and then but this time we’re going to have four solid days with some really solid people. Wrex has to work Friday in Wyoming – HUGE BUMMER. In an effort to save money, we’re only taking one vehicle which leaves me transportation-less on Friday. So? I put out the all-call on Facebook and we were humbled and blessed to have so many friends respond with offers for us to borrow their cars/trucks/vans.
The first friend to reply is such a dandy. When I called her back, she said she’d leave the carseats in and that we could borrow the vehicle all weekend if we needed. She said, “Heck, come in, eat a meal and have a party at my house if you want – I don’t care!” She and her husband are THOSE people. You know, the ones that send you home with way more than you came with…the ones who feed your kid snack after snack and drink after drink and let them take the cup home…the ones who upgrade their things and bless people with the earlier version instead of selling it for a little pocket money. They are those people who really get what our stuff is all about and Who it really belongs to.
This house we live in? It’s the Lord’s. The car I drive? It’s the Lord’s. The car I borrow? Also the Lord’s. The paycheck my husband draws? The Lord’s. These kids of mine? The Lord’s. The clothes in my closet and the shoes on my feet? The Lord’s. The animals in our pasture? The Lord’s. He’s allowing me to borrow them, to care for them and to use them for His glory.
Every. single. thing. we. “own.” is the Lord’s. They are not ours. When we regard them as His, we tend to hold them a little more loosely; we don’t put our hope in them, we don’t idolize them, we don’t hold them with selfish ambition. When we know that these things were provided by THE Provider, we gain a mindset that acknowledges His provision. It’s an understanding that pushes out that orphan mentality that makes us snatch up our stuff, hold it close to our chest and shelter it from outsiders; the mentality that tries to convince us that we better not lend them out because “what if?” What if something happens and they are damaged? What if something happens and they aren’t repairable? It’s the mentality that tells us that the Lord will never provide again; it’s the mentality that puts the something above the someone.
But, when our faith isn’t in an object, a funny thing happens. When we release our grasp on these “things” and share them more freely…when we are willing to open our hands to give them away…
our hands are now open and ripe for the receiving of the blessing that lies ingiving. When our fists are so tightly clenched around our stuff…stuff that moth and rust will destroy or that thieves can steal …we can’t possibly receive any of the blessings and goodness of the Lord; our hands just can’t contain it.
He is a giver. He doesn’t withhold good things from His kids – why should we withhold our things from our fellow brothers and sisters? He will provide. He always has. He always will. And sometimes that provision comes in the form of our being willing to share what we have been given with others.
Thank you, sweet friends, for living a life with hands wide open. I pray the Lord blesses you; blesses you with His presence, His goodness and His grace…and with even more for you to give away.
We got our propane tank filled a week or so ago…and the rest of my hospital bill (from when I had Wryder) came in the mail Monday…and we’ve made a few trips to the doctor and the pharmacy lately, so today was budget day. Always a good time, yes? No.
I got out the computer and the bills, and opened our online bank account and my budget spreadsheet and went to work. I am so thankful for Wrex’s job. I’m not sure my words could ever adequately describe how it compares to our previous situation. Night and day, people! (In a GREAT way!) He loves it and he’s darn good at it and he has a lot more time at home than his former job. Is it the highest paying job on the planet? Nope, but we have an income – that’s more than a lot of people out there. Plus, he’s always finding little ways to make a few more dollars for our family. Every chance he gets, he’s out doing something extra to support us. He is a great provider and would work four jobs before we were ever left in want, this I know to be true.
So, I sat there with the bills and the calculator and my spreadsheet and was doing some inserting and deleting and adding…and a lot of subtracting…ahem. I was trying to figure out if we could pay those big two (propane and hospital) without transferring money from savings (because that money is off limits in my mind) but because it’s a big, yearly purchase like that, (propane) I just couldn’t make it work. And I hate taking money from savings. Ugh. And I feel like we’ve had to do that a lot this year…for all sorts of random things…as we don’t have a ton leftover at the end of every week/month.
We’ve revisited the budget a lot since Wryder was born and it can be depressing. We’re to the point where there just isn’t money for eating out on Sunday’s after church or for grabbing a pop when we go to town or for going to Denver every other month to see friends…it’s just not there. Tithe and formula and diapers and groceries and check-ups pull rank, ya know? And Wrex and I both have generous hearts (if I do say so myself). We love to give and bless and surprise and come alongside and help…and we haven’t been able to do that kind of stuff (outside of tithing) as of late…and we miss it and long for it.
So, I’m sitting there with my head swimming with questions about what to do and how to make it all work and what we need to cut back on so that we can not steal from savings and so we can give more? I’m kicking myself for spending money going out to eat and on a pop now and then. My heart is screaming about the injustices of it all; that American mentality of entitlement that tells me I deserve certain things in life. Why CAN’T we eat out on Sundays?? Why CAN’T we grab a pop now and then?!? Why CAN’T I buy a few things at a thrift store?!?! And the tears started to come, because it’s a weird place to be in and it feels unfair!
And then…
My sweet little, stuffy nosed girl comes in the kitchen and hands me a paper leaf for the thankful tree. She said, “Mom, can you write on this for me? This one is for Wryder. He said he’s thankful that we have everything we need.”
BAM. Brought back to reality by a wise beyond her years 3 year old. “We do indeed, sweet girl. We do indeed.”
As I wrote those words and stuck the leaf to the tree, my heart softened and my attitude of gratitude swelled. Lord, I have so much to be thankful for. Thank you for reminding me of that, again. You have always provided for us. Even in our darkest hours and driest of bank accounts, you have always provided.
I’m thankful we even have a little kitty to dip out of…I’m thankful my husband has a job PERIOD and with a great company, no less…I’m thankful our insurance hasn’t changed, even with this Obamacare crap…I’m thankful that my family is healthy and whole…I’m thankful we have a roof over our heads and some room to roam…I’m thankful I even have a family and that I’m not still waiting on Mr. Right or waiting for the Lord to open my womb to have children.
We have everything we need. Help me not to be a slave to a bank account, Lord. You are everything we need.
Five years ago, I took a trip that would change my life in ways that I didn’t know were even possible. In the spring of 2008, I received an invitation to go on a missions trip to the Home of Refuge orphanage near Valencia, Venezuela. I looked at the dates of the trip, saw that it coincided with a state fair my husband was going to be judging and I immediately dismissed it. Nope. Couldn’t go. Already have plans. Plus, why would I want to go on this trip without my hubby (and he was already under contract with this fair)…the orphanage isn’t in the safest of countries (and I’m not much of a risk taker)…I wasn’t the biggest fan of children (or so I thought)…plus, I remember missionaries coming to our church when I was growing up and I was HELLBENT not to be one. (It just seemed so foreign, unglamorous and scary to me.)
And then…isn’t there always an “and then?” The Holy Spirit convicted me and made me realize that I wasn’t committed to anything during this time. Wrex was, but I was not. I was just planning on going with him to have fun and support him…and in that moment, I think I knew I was called to go, not to Indiana, but to South America.
After praying and attending an informational meeting, the Lord confirmed it to me through worship one Sunday using verbage our group leader had used in a previous meeting.
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your Kingdom’s cause
As I walk from earth into eternity
It didn’t exactly whack me in the face when she said it, but that Sunday, He ministered to my heart regarding this trip and I paid in full to go. Can I just say, obedience is a BEAUTIFUL thing and that’s definitely what this trip was for me. Every ounce of my being was kicking and screaming “no” but the Lord was whispering “yes.” So glad I listened and obeyed.
The orphanage was run by an American man and wife who, too, were obedient to the Lord. Read about their AMAZING history here. (Seriously. Read it. The Lord’s faithfulness is astounding.)
As a team, we put on a VBS of sorts during the day, and at night we ministered solely to the older kids. The Lord had put that task on our leader’s heart as she planned our trip because there were a couple of students there that were 18 or were turning 18. They would soon be entering the world beyond the fences of the orphanage and we wanted them to be as prepared as they could be to stand firm for the Lord in a country that would be ready to eat them alive because of Him.
Edickson and Bryan
It was SUCH an anointed, majestic, holy time. The kiddos learned to give their testimony and how to lead others to Christ; they got to gain a deeper understanding of the Lord from a different set of mouths; they got to play games and have fun and be joyful and do creative activities apart from school; and most importantly, they got smothered in love.
Sweet girls
There were so many sweeties there, it was hard to have a favorite…but there was a little girl that specifically caught my eye and attention. Her name was Eduangeli. She was around 2 or 3 and had the biggest brown eyes and the curliest brown hair…and she called me momma. I was sold. Smitten. Completely in love.
Oh, my heart still longs for this girl
She loved being doted on and carried around and loved on and was so content just to sit. I’d sing to her and play with her hair and pray over her. We’d get out bubbles or a ball and she’d play, but she was so content just to sit and snuggle. And I was content to do so.
Snuggle bunny
That’s what a lot of the kids wanted. We’d sit and “talk,” which mainly consisted of me trying to attempt a conversation in my simple, left-a-lot-to-be-desired Spanish. But they didn’t care. Smiles and laughter and self-deprecation are a universal language, yes? They just wanted to be included…to be wanted…to be known…to be loved…to be accepted…to be in…to be heard…to be in the presence of someone who cared.
A normal scene
Don’t we all? I’m so thankful that we have a Father that sees that need in ALL of us and should we choose to believe…should we choose to sit at His feet and be in relationship with Him…He adopts us into His family, forever.
The Lord did some major, life changing things in me on that trip. I owe a tremendous amount of who I am today and what my walk with the Lord looks like and what I believe as Truth to His doings (or, undoings) that occurred in a red, stucco orphanage in a communist country in South America. (So much so, that that will have to be another post for another day or you’d be reading all night.)
Leaving those kiddos – not my finest hour. My heart was, indeed, broken for the things that break His. I was a wreck; a complete, sobbing, ugly-cry, overwhelmed mess. Our leader reminded me in our last hours there as I struggled to pull it together and say my goodbyes, that there are some 150 MILLION orphans in the world and we got to know 60. As much as it felt like this was the end of the world, it was not; and though our time there DID make a difference there was still a lot of other children that were in need in the world. We couldn’t limit our vision to just these 60…because the Lord doesn’t.
A few months later, we found out why we felt so impressed to really concrete some things with those older kids… On a horrible day in November, the government stormed the orphanage at gunpoint, seizing all the kids except the handicapped individuals. The ones that were 18 were turned loose on the street and the others were sent to state run jails and orphanages. Heartbreak and anger and confusion and unanswered questions and cries of injustice poured from our lips. How can they do that? Is there something we can do? What happened to Hector? Jesus? Eduangeli? Oh, how I prayed and cried out to the Lord! If someone could just find her and get her here, we would adopt her! Any of them! All of them! But it wasn’t to be.
I think of her when I see my own little brown-eyed, curly haired beauty. There aren’t too many days that go by that I don’t wonder where she is or what she’s doing. I pray that she’s cared for…that she isn’t scared…that she has enough to eat…that someone is showing love to her…that she isn’t being taken advantage of…that someone is teaching her about the Lord…and that somewhere, in the deep recesses of her heart, that she remembers the Jesus we talked about…the Jesus that rescued her once and that will do so again, some how, some way. Would you pray for her, too? For all of them?
You love her more than I do, Lord
Our church celebrated orphan Sunday today. We prayed collectively for the persecuted church and for the orphan everywhere; there are almost half a million children in our very own country that are not in a forever home. The videos are hard to watch and the statistics are hard to hear, but we can’t look away. We can’t protect our hearts and think someone else will do the work because it might just be too much for us to handle. Much perspective is gained by getting outside of our churches and living rooms and families; a God-sized perspective, a life-changing perspective…and not just your life.
The orphan is dear to the Lord’s heart. Pray for them today; for the ones in our backyards, in our state, in our country and in other nations. Ask the Lord to break your heart for what breaks His. Ask Him how He wants you to share His name with the orphan. And then? (See, there it is again…) Be obedient to what He’s asking you to do. If it’s go, go. If it’s pray, pray. If it’s support, support. If it’s adopt, adopt. If it’s build, build. There is blessing in obedience, this I know.
By the way, my heart has done a 180 on the missionary front. 🙂 There are longings in my soul to go and preach the Good News and to make disciples and to bind up the brokenhearted and to free the captives and to pass on knowledge of production agriculture to help change a society by feeding people for more than just a day. I just want to be a vessel of the Lord. Wherever. Whenever. With whoever. And if it happened to be somewhere with more brown-eyed, curly haired girls that decide to call me momma, I shan’t complain.
