Five years ago, I took a trip that would change my life in ways that I didn’t know were even possible. In the spring of 2008, I received an invitation to go on a missions trip to the Home of Refuge orphanage near Valencia, Venezuela. I looked at the dates of the trip, saw that it coincided with a state fair my husband was going to be judging and I immediately dismissed it. Nope. Couldn’t go. Already have plans. Plus, why would I want to go on this trip without my hubby (and he was already under contract with this fair)…the orphanage isn’t in the safest of countries (and I’m not much of a risk taker)…I wasn’t the biggest fan of children (or so I thought)…plus, I remember missionaries coming to our church when I was growing up and I was HELLBENT not to be one. (It just seemed so foreign, unglamorous and scary to me.)
And then…isn’t there always an “and then?” The Holy Spirit convicted me and made me realize that I wasn’t committed to anything during this time. Wrex was, but I was not. I was just planning on going with him to have fun and support him…and in that moment, I think I knew I was called to go, not to Indiana, but to South America.
After praying and attending an informational meeting, the Lord confirmed it to me through worship one Sunday using verbage our group leader had used in a previous meeting.
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your Kingdom’s cause
As I walk from earth into eternity
It didn’t exactly whack me in the face when she said it, but that Sunday, He ministered to my heart regarding this trip and I paid in full to go. Can I just say, obedience is a BEAUTIFUL thing and that’s definitely what this trip was for me. Every ounce of my being was kicking and screaming “no” but the Lord was whispering “yes.” So glad I listened and obeyed.
The orphanage was run by an American man and wife who, too, were obedient to the Lord. Read about their AMAZING history here. (Seriously. Read it. The Lord’s faithfulness is astounding.)
As a team, we put on a VBS of sorts during the day, and at night we ministered solely to the older kids. The Lord had put that task on our leader’s heart as she planned our trip because there were a couple of students there that were 18 or were turning 18. They would soon be entering the world beyond the fences of the orphanage and we wanted them to be as prepared as they could be to stand firm for the Lord in a country that would be ready to eat them alive because of Him.
It was SUCH an anointed, majestic, holy time. The kiddos learned to give their testimony and how to lead others to Christ; they got to gain a deeper understanding of the Lord from a different set of mouths; they got to play games and have fun and be joyful and do creative activities apart from school; and most importantly, they got smothered in love.
There were so many sweeties there, it was hard to have a favorite…but there was a little girl that specifically caught my eye and attention. Her name was Eduangeli. She was around 2 or 3 and had the biggest brown eyes and the curliest brown hair…and she called me momma. I was sold. Smitten. Completely in love.
She loved being doted on and carried around and loved on and was so content just to sit. I’d sing to her and play with her hair and pray over her. We’d get out bubbles or a ball and she’d play, but she was so content just to sit and snuggle. And I was content to do so.
That’s what a lot of the kids wanted. We’d sit and “talk,” which mainly consisted of me trying to attempt a conversation in my simple, left-a-lot-to-be-desired Spanish. But they didn’t care. Smiles and laughter and self-deprecation are a universal language, yes? They just wanted to be included…to be wanted…to be known…to be loved…to be accepted…to be in…to be heard…to be in the presence of someone who cared.
Don’t we all? I’m so thankful that we have a Father that sees that need in ALL of us and should we choose to believe…should we choose to sit at His feet and be in relationship with Him…He adopts us into His family, forever.
The Lord did some major, life changing things in me on that trip. I owe a tremendous amount of who I am today and what my walk with the Lord looks like and what I believe as Truth to His doings (or, undoings) that occurred in a red, stucco orphanage in a communist country in South America. (So much so, that that will have to be another post for another day or you’d be reading all night.)
Leaving those kiddos – not my finest hour. My heart was, indeed, broken for the things that break His. I was a wreck; a complete, sobbing, ugly-cry, overwhelmed mess. Our leader reminded me in our last hours there as I struggled to pull it together and say my goodbyes, that there are some 150 MILLION orphans in the world and we got to know 60. As much as it felt like this was the end of the world, it was not; and though our time there DID make a difference there was still a lot of other children that were in need in the world. We couldn’t limit our vision to just these 60…because the Lord doesn’t.
A few months later, we found out why we felt so impressed to really concrete some things with those older kids… On a horrible day in November, the government stormed the orphanage at gunpoint, seizing all the kids except the handicapped individuals. The ones that were 18 were turned loose on the street and the others were sent to state run jails and orphanages. Heartbreak and anger and confusion and unanswered questions and cries of injustice poured from our lips. How can they do that? Is there something we can do? What happened to Hector? Jesus? Eduangeli? Oh, how I prayed and cried out to the Lord! If someone could just find her and get her here, we would adopt her! Any of them! All of them! But it wasn’t to be.
I think of her when I see my own little brown-eyed, curly haired beauty. There aren’t too many days that go by that I don’t wonder where she is or what she’s doing. I pray that she’s cared for…that she isn’t scared…that she has enough to eat…that someone is showing love to her…that she isn’t being taken advantage of…that someone is teaching her about the Lord…and that somewhere, in the deep recesses of her heart, that she remembers the Jesus we talked about…the Jesus that rescued her once and that will do so again, some how, some way. Would you pray for her, too? For all of them?
Our church celebrated orphan Sunday today. We prayed collectively for the persecuted church and for the orphan everywhere; there are almost half a million children in our very own country that are not in a forever home. The videos are hard to watch and the statistics are hard to hear, but we can’t look away. We can’t protect our hearts and think someone else will do the work because it might just be too much for us to handle. Much perspective is gained by getting outside of our churches and living rooms and families; a God-sized perspective, a life-changing perspective…and not just your life.
The orphan is dear to the Lord’s heart. Pray for them today; for the ones in our backyards, in our state, in our country and in other nations. Ask the Lord to break your heart for what breaks His. Ask Him how He wants you to share His name with the orphan. And then? (See, there it is again…) Be obedient to what He’s asking you to do. If it’s go, go. If it’s pray, pray. If it’s support, support. If it’s adopt, adopt. If it’s build, build. There is blessing in obedience, this I know.
By the way, my heart has done a 180 on the missionary front. 🙂 There are longings in my soul to go and preach the Good News and to make disciples and to bind up the brokenhearted and to free the captives and to pass on knowledge of production agriculture to help change a society by feeding people for more than just a day. I just want to be a vessel of the Lord. Wherever. Whenever. With whoever. And if it happened to be somewhere with more brown-eyed, curly haired girls that decide to call me momma, I shan’t complain.
