labor – The Bless Your Heart Blog

I Got the Gift

Well, well…fancy meeting you here again. 😉 I’ve been a little m-i-a since the wee one was born. Do ya blame me?! I mean, look at that sweet face…

I rejoin the blogging world for a very special occasion…this handsome fella’s 33rd birthday!

I always feel like I’m the one getting the gift on his birthday.

As a little girl and young woman, when I was dreaming up my ideal husband, I couldn’t have put together someone more perfect than my Wrexy. He’s all things good and kind and gentle and sweet and loving and right and joyful…and watching him (especially) the past 3 weeks has made me fall in love with him all over again.

He was a champ – a dream – in the delivery room. Having a natural labor requires a LOT of teamwork and he was the best teammate I could’ve asked for (much like the other parts of my life). He encouraged me and let me squeeze his hand until I thought it might fall off…he held me up when I couldn’t hardly hold myself up and kept me on track when I wanted to cave to pain killers…he supplied me with cold rags and words of affirmation…he counted and encouraged and encouraged some more and encouraged even more…he was a constant ray of sunshine and excitement… I mean this to the fullest extent – there is NO WAY I could’ve birthed that baby without him.

When Dr. Kohl came in the next day, she checked me over and then she said something to the effect of, “I just have to tell you something. Yesterday, during labor, I was so impressed with you and Wrex. My favorite part was that during transition, he was calling you ‘Fox’.”

Ah, yes…transition. That point in labor where the pain is almost unbearable and you start thinking you can’t do it (and don’t want to) and you say that this is your last baby and you are writhing in pain… And in the middle of all of that…when I (most likely) wasn’t looking my best or acting my best or even coherent enough be fully aware of all that was going on around me, he was treating me like I was the foxiest thing he’d seen all day. See what I mean when I say I feel like I’m the one getting the gift?!

Watching him with this sweet, new babe is equally swoon worthy. He’s so gentle with her and talks about how cute she is and dotes on her constantly. He’ll hold her and she’ll fall asleep and he’ll say, “You should come take our picture.” Uh, ask me for anything and you can have it this very moment.

He’s my best friend and lover and teammate extraordinaire and I am SO VERY GLAD that he was born!

Sexy Wrexy, I pray that 33 is your best year yet! On this, the best day in June, I bless you in the name of Jesus!

I bless the work of your hands…that the Lord would honor your fortitude and entrepreneurial spirit and that you would continue to operate for His glory.

I bless you with loyalty…that the same amount of faith and fidelity that your pour out to those around you would be given right back to you.

I bless you with with the receipt of grace and mercy…that it would envelop you as freely as you give it away.

I bless you with strength and boldness as you continue to live a life of transparency that shines the light of Jesus, even in (and especially in) those dark places.

I bless you with an increase in wisdom…that you would press into the Lord and receive His heart on how best to parent and love and discipline our growing family.

I bless you with the time and means to pursue the things that satisfy your soul and refresh your spirit.

And, as any good cow buyer’s wife would, I bless you with cheap cows and easy roads…copious amounts of Mt. Dew and highly marbled steak.

I love you, handsome! Happiest of birthdays to you! Thank you for giving me the gift of YOU all year long…

Ready

I feel like I’m to the point that I am READY.

I’m ready to meet sweet Sayble.

I’m ready to labor and push and bring her outside of my body.

I’m ready to snuggle her and swaddle her and get to know her outside of the womb.

I was scared to death of the whole labor process with both Sawyer and Wryder and I don’t feel that way this time…and I pray I don’t pass that point of readiness.

I feel like I’m perched on the diving board and I’m READY to take that leap into the deep end…the house is cleaned and organized and bags are packed and the ‘big brother/big sister’ shirts are made and we have diapers and wipes and formula and bottles and the carseat is in the truck…but labor hasn’t commenced so I can’t take that leap just yet.

I don’t want the longer I wait to increase anxiety, because that happens sometimes doesn’t it? When you feel SOOOO ready and you just wanna jump in feet first but you have to wait and then the enemy starts whispering fears into your ears…general anxiety sets in…and you’re a blubbering mess. Don’t ask me how I know.

I would LOVE to go into labor on my own this time. I haven’t had that luxury with either kid prior…apparently my womb is quite comfy. 😉 I keep telling the Lord that He knows the desires of my heart, but I trust that He’s knows best as well. He has been so faithful this pregnancy, friends.

I had so many fears going into this one. My heart so longs to be obedient to Him and I wasn’t certain that He was ok with us having a third one. I was reminded that He views children as blessings…He wants us to fill our quivers! We have the means and the ability to create more warriors for the Kingdom and He would bless this addition. He is the giver of life so even despite our efforts, if Sayble wasn’t meant to be, she wouldn’t have been. But she IS.

Her story has looked different than the other two, but no less full of His goodness and grace. After watching momma’s go through tough pregnancies and walk beside some as they lost babies and after having a bout of pre-eclampsia the day I was induced with Wryder, I have been so scared that I wouldn’t make it with this one. I didn’t want her to be born early and spend time in the NICU in a different city…I didn’t want to be scared to death and have my life threatened with pre-e…I didn’t know how I would carry her to term when I already felt so huge…

But? We’ve made it…and none of that has come to pass. He has showed me that He is trustworthy…again and again and again… Lest we forget…

We go in for another checkup tomorrow…and until He’s ready for her to make her debut, we will wait expectantly for her arrival. I will savor these kicks and stretches and countless bathroom breaks and never-ending house cleanings and day dreams about her sweet face and the last happenings as a family of four.

Pray for our family in this time…that we would wait well and that we would savor these days together…that labor would come in His time and that all would be safe and well and healthy…that we would honor Him with our story of Sayble’s life…all of our lives…He is most worthy.

Four Years Ago Today

Four years ago right now, I was a nervous wreck. Literally, a wreck; ugly crying…snot streaming out the nose…inconsolable… I was (very) pregnant with Sawyer and was scheduled to be induced at 6:00 p.m. and I was scared to death.

Her due date was August 9th so she was already nine days overdue at this point. I knew she needed to come out and I was sooooo very ready to meet her, but I’m not a big fan of the unknown.

Being induced wasn’t part of “THE PLAN.” Oh goodness, how often is that true? THE PLAN was to go into labor naturally (and let me tell you, I tried…all of it…spicy mexican food…a bumpy trip across the pasture checking cows…extensive walking…all of it. Except castor oil…that didn’t sound fun). THE PLAN was to start having contractions and then get up and get ready and go get a pedicure with momma Jeanie and Tredessa. THE PLAN was to eat a leisurely lunch and then head to the hospital and welcome my sweet girl to the world. THE PLAN did NOT include an induction.

My sweet momma Jeanie came over about this time and talked me off the ledge I was perched upon so clumsily. I made it through the morning, had lunch with my honey and then cried some more. (It was the hormones!!) *ahem*

We met momma Jeanie at the hospital and checked in at 6:00 on the nose. We got settled in, began the induction and then Wrex fell in love with the contraction tracker. He’d sit there and say, “Did you feel that one? That was a big one! Here comes another!” It was so cute…and not annoying at this point. 🙂

45797_10150256651930335_3885124_n — Love this girl…

Poppa Dave showed up and brought Chick-fil-A and Mt. Dew and we partied with Tredessa and my sweet “sister” Tara until midnight.

45714_10150255141850335_3526879_n — The best labor team on the planet!

I was not in active labor at this point, but it was fun to pretend! So glad my feet were clean…

Honestly, it was one of my favorites nights EVER! There was so much excitement and encouragement and love; it was the perfect way to welcome our sweet Sawyer.

Dave and the girls left around midnight and Jeanie stayed with me as I tried to sleep. That’s always such a joke to me. Sleep…during contractions…yeah, ok. I was in for a natural labor so sleeping through contractions wasn’t gonna happen…

Everybody reconvened the next morning and I kept them waiting. I was progressing, just pretty slowly. I contracted and walked and hugged toilets and got into all kinds of weird positions that I’m still so sad that Jeanie and Tredessa had to witness – ha!

Wrexy broke down about 4:30 that afternoon; he was so worried about his girls and he hated seeing me in pain. It was a sweet moment that actually kind of re-energized us. At about 6:00 pm, it was time to push! I was absolutely exhausted at this point…

I was so hot (surprise, surprise) and there wasn’t a fan in the room so Wrex was fanning me with an instrument packet. I remember that he kept hitting me in the face because he was in deep conversation with our doctor about the differences and similarities between a human birth and that of a cow. *ahem* Farm wives, you know exactly what I’m talking about…

This part of her birth was quite supernatural for me. I don’t remember just a ton during this time; the Lord was my strength, no doubt. We had gone through three or four shift changes of nurses, ten other babies being born, codes over the loud speaker…and I remember hearing this cry and I asked, “Was that Sawyer?” I was so delirious I didn’t know if some other lucky duck had their baby or if it was actually my turn…

Three and a half hours of pushing later, she was here! 24 hours of hard labor later, my angel was here!

45825_10150256651975335_832703_n — Just a few minutes old…

They put her on my tummy and I got to gaze upon her sweetness in exhaustion. Jeanie spoke the name of Jesus over her and then handed her off to daddy. Those brave souls that lasted long into the night joined us in our room and sweet Sawyer had quite the welcoming party! She deserved it!

We slept about four hours that night…

It's exhausting being so cute... — It’s exhausting being so cute…

and partied some more the next day; we had a ton of sweet visitors – LIFE is worth celebrating, you know?

Aunt Dessa, after a little rest... — Aunt Dessa, after a little rest…

Let it be known, that this woman is a saint! There is no way I could’ve made it through this labor without her by my side!

It was a sweet, sweet few days – some of my favorites, no doubt. It just sure doesn’t feel like it’s been four years since I birthed this sweet baby girl…

They say the days are long but the years are short. Tis true…