A Grace Filled Mother’s Day

Where do I even begin? 

I’m a momma three times over now and I’m not sure I could be any more joyful.  Never, EVER did I think my heart could hold so much love…so much adoration…for such beautiful little creations…

My whole world...
My whole world…

Our days have been full of so much grace here lately; grace for things that might not seem like a big deal to anyone else but things that spoke so richly of His love for me…

A decent night’s sleep before induction (unlike the last two births)…

My babies waking up earlier than normal so that I got to love on them before I left for the hospital (which was a good thing since that whole labor thing took a little longer than we were expecting)…

Checking into the hospital with a nursing staff full of familiar faces that were excited and ready for us to meet sweet Sayble…

Rainy, cloudy, overcast weather that kept our recently planted grass nice and moist while daddy was away taking care of mom instead of the yard…

Decisions that I was nervous about making that ended up being made for us since we had some small progress…

A nurse that encouraged us to sleep until the next round of induction drugs could be administered because labor would come if it was going to come…

A doctor who is patient and understands the desire for natural labors…pretty sure had I been in a big city, they’d have just cut me open and snagged baby so they could attend their kids’ track meet since it was taking longer than expected…

Blood sugar and blood pressure that stayed right on their respective cues from start to finish…

A baby who’s heartbeat never once showed signs of distress during that lengthy process…

A nurse and a doctor who delivered their baby’s naturally who encouraged me just as much as my sweet hubby and doula-mom…

A friend who volunteered to cover a shift so I could squeeze her hand off while she championed with me to have this baby…

Being able to allow myself to sleep through some of those first few hours of contractions…

Pitocin finally doing the trick and other than transition, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be…and pretty sure transition would be bad regardless…

Pushing out that sweet baby girl in nine little pushes…

Post-partem drugs doing what they were supposed to do to help my uterus really clamp down back into place and size…

An easier recovery (mentally and physically) than Wryder’s birth…

A (so-far) seamless transition from two to three…or four to five…

I feel like grace was the word for this pregnancy from the get-go…and I’ve experienced it so richly the past week or so that I’ve found myself not being able to help but pour it right back out. 

As a type-A kinda girl, there have been plenty of opportunities (now that there are five of us in one house) that didn’t quite meet my rigid expectations and I’ve noticed that I’ve dealt with them swimmingly.  I haven’t felt rattled or frustrated or disappointed…I’ve just felt a sense of nonchalance…trust me, THAT is grace.

I know that grace is an area I struggle with; I don’t have much for myself, much less for anyone else…but when I see it in action, it literally brings me to my knees.  It is SUCH a breathtakingly beautiful thing.  How I looooooooonnnnngggg for more…and long to give it away more…

So this Mother’s Day that is what I wish all of you mommas and mommas-to-be and mommas who’s hearts are burdened for whatever reason or season…I wish you grace

That you would be able to see how readily it is available for you and that you would reach out and receive it…

That you would fully understand the weight of the job you do but know that it’s not all up to you…

That you would cut yourself (as well as the mom next door) some slack and dwell in the shadow of the Almighty as He works with you to fill in the gaps…

That you would give it away even when you think it is undeserved – because isn’t that really what grace is…

Happy Mother’s Day to the women of the world!  Grace to you in all you do!

I Can See the Light

I’m not sure I’ve ever been so glad that it’s Friday…bearing that Friday means the weekend will be completely opposite of the past week.  It’s been one of those.  Dooooooooo-zeeeeee.

I have no doubt that pregnancy hormones have exacerbated things.  I can also freely admit that my little handful of grievances and issues pale in comparison to 90% of the rest of the world’s problems and heart aches.  BUT, it’s still just been a tough week.

Parenting is not for the feint of heart.  Relationships aren’t for the feint of heart.  Life is not for the feint of heart.

in the midst of the ick, I’m attempting to be grateful…

I’m thankful for…

…a sweet husband who will sit and talk through parenting issues with you, brainstorm solutions, solidify our team with his words and his vows and his prayers, and then hug the stuffing out of you until you can’t breathe (because of your burgeoning belly).

…for friends who will pray with you and for you and encourage you and support you.

…for people who consistently show me how I don’t want to be when I grow up.

…for sweet little girls and boys who love their mommy no matter how much of a failure she feels like she is.

…for opportunities to show grace and to be a woman of my word, because I’ve been on the receiving end of the opposite of that…and it ain’t pretty.

…for the promise that His mercies are new every morning.

…for the fact that I don’t have to be tomorrow who I am today.

…for the way I can groan in the Spirit and He hears my cries and gently leads me on.

…for the way weekends with my teammate bring renewal for me.

I have much more to be grateful for than I have to complain about – that is not lost on me, for sure – but here’s to hoping (still) for a better strings of days…