I was playing dollhouse with Sawyer tonight when I jokingly pulled her pajama pants down to be funny. She reached down and grabbed them and cinched them back up with ease and my memory recalled a time when she was too little to do that on her own.
She has grown up so much here lately…too much for me, sometimes. I just want to freeze time right now, right in these moments we’re in, and just live here forever; is that too much to ask? These are some of the best days of my life, of that I am sure.
I love to hear all of the songs sings; the ones she makes up and the ones she knows by heart. When she belts out Amazing Grace and raises her hands to the Lord in worship to Him, I just about melt. (I know He has to about do the same).
I love her little laugh when something really tickles her. You can’t help but laugh right along with her.
I love the little ticks she and repetitions she’s designed for herself…like smelling the candle in the bathroom every time she’s in there…or her tooth brushing routine (it’s quite detailed)…or how she “starts” the dryer by pushing her little system of “buttons.”
I love how she gets so excited to wear pretty dresses and sparkly shoes and likes to change clothes several times a day.
I love how she loves her little brother. She always wants to hold him and help him and play with him. She is sooooo ready for him to walk, but until then, I’ll “take bubba into the toy room” for her every time she asks.
I love the elaborate picnics and birthday parties she creates in the toy room. There is always food and dishes and treats galore; she takes such care in making the occasion special.
I love to hear her speak truth to our entire family (and all of her dolls and toys for that matter). When “boy baby” gets scared in the dollhouse, she reminds him that Jesus is always with us…and when we dig in without thanking the Lord for our food, she’s quick to remind us that we should pray…or when she gets a word from the Lord, she’s always quick to share.
I love her gentle spirit and how quick she is to accept correction. Discipline isn’t always fun and sometimes it downright kills me and she always receives it with such grace…and the times I don’t do it right, she’s always so quick to forgive.
I love how in the mornings, she wants to come snuggle us if she wakes up first. She’ll be really still for a few minutes and then you find her kissing all over you and petting you; can’t get upset about that.
I love how she likes to make graham cracker soup (broken up graham crackers in milk) and how she likes to dip everything in ranch…how she won’t eat the ends of her pickles and how she’ll lick a salt shaker given half a chance.
I love her mind and her penchant for learning. She’s so interested in space and planets and making letters and numbers and counting and patterns and cattle breeds – and I could go on and on and on! She’s a little sponge and it’s so fun to get to research and teach her and show her more of the things she’s interested in.
I love how she loves to make pictures and drawings and in doing so, always use crayons and stamps and markers and map colors and stickers and scissors and glue and creates a complete masterpiece! She loves office supplies; a girl after my own heart.
I love how she likes to hold hands and give hugs and cover you in kisses. I will never get enough of those.
I love how much care she gives our dog Trigger, even though he doesn’t always return the favor. She’ll go out and pray over him and color pictures for him…she always makes sure he has food and water…and she gives him about 10 little treat bones a day, even though he tries to bite her every time she does. Her heart holds no grudge. I need to be more like her.
She is such a special little girl. I know I’m biased, but she really is. I never imagined I would be this blessed. She makes me want to do better, to live better, to eat better, to speak better, to think better, to love better, to forgive better, to play better, to be better.
Lord, help me to make these days count. It feels like I look up again and it’s Friday and a whole week has gone by…and pretty soon I’m gonna wake up and she’s gonna be four…and then 10…and then 16…and then…I can’t even let myself go to the ‘and then’…
Being a mommy is hard on the heart; to know something so intimately and to love something so completely and then to let it grow and let it go just seems so……cruel. I suppose women have done it for thousands of years before me…and I’m sure I’ll survive…but if I had my way…….