Tag: obedience

Little Plus Little Plus Little Equals Big

Guys, I don’t even know what to tell you about 2016.  We’re entering the second week of February and it’s been a ride already!  I’ve always heard that following the Lord is an adventure and life has proven that very thing, time and time again.

I’ve been doing the Precept study – which you KNOW I love! –  on the life of Abraham.  It starts us right where the Lord calls Abram (soon to be Abraham) away from the place he and his family have known…away from every familiar and comfortable thing…to follow Him to a land that He would show Him…a land that the Lord promises to bless through the many descendants that shall come from the house of Abram.

Intriguing offer – would you do it?  We’d all like to think we would, wouldn’t we?  But sometimes, it’s not so easy.  There are memories and relationships and impossibilities (seemingly, of course) and details to hash out and things to pack and things to mull over and think about and ideas to bounce off of our friends and confirmations to get and and and!   But Abram made it look easy; the text simply says, “So Abram went…”  What faith, yes?!  I feel like I can definitely relate to this part of the story because it reminds me so much of how we got to where we are now…  We had $5000 in a savings account, nowhere to live, nowhere to go and no job waiting for us; all we knew was we were supposed to go, so go we did.

One of the many things that I love about the story of Abram besides his faithfulness to the Lord, is the Lord’s faithfulness to Him.  Even in his sin and his lies and poor decisions, the Lord still acts on His behalf and kept leading Him on in the way he already said that he would go…

It has been such a beautiful reminder for me the past couple of weeks.  I so badly want to be obedient to Him – isn’t it the least that I could do?  Isn’t the blessing that comes from obedience worth the discomfort of a new thing?

In that search for knowing obedience and knowing His will, Abram settles my soul that should I misstep, should I have heard wrong, should I have made the poor choice…He’s not leaving me.  He’s not forsaking me.  Should I willfully disobey, He will HATE my sin of disobedience but continue to love me just as He has done before my birth.  That’s a beautiful thing, yes?

Sometimes waiting on the Lord is strenuous…especially for a control freak person who is very type A and likes to have all of their ducks in a row and have them in a row immediately.  Don’t ask me how I know.  *ahem* 

I’m at the point that I just wanna do what He wants me to do and I don’t even care what that is.  Not a bad place to be, eh?

I look at Abram’s story and it’s wrapped up in such a nice little bow that it makes the obedience part look easy.  The Lord said, “do this,” so Abram did.  He traveled here and built an altar…he traveled there until the Lord spoke again…he went on his merry way until the Lord gave Him some more instructions.  Well, that sounds easy enough – no wonder he was faithful! 

But when you look at the great distance he actually traveled (on foot, mind you) and all he must have encountered – all of the little hardships and happenings and rocks in the road and people he happened upon – he continually had to make choices for obedience that we don’t hear about in the text, even just in the daily grind.  It wasn’t like he magically appeared in the next town because that’s where the text picks up; he actually had to GET there and that alone wasn’t always an easy feat.

Isn’t it the day to day choices for obedience that usually get us?  I find myself begging for Him to reveal what I’m to do in the big decisions…am I good at letting Him govern the small ones, too?  When Wryder poops in his pants for the thousandth time since we started potty training, do I choose grace (obedience) and talk to him levelly or do I raise my voice?  When Sawyer continually guesses at words instead of sounding them out, do I teach her how to do it properly (obedience) or do I lose my cool?  When Sayble is fussy do I stop everything I’m doing and comfort her (obedience) or do I act inconvenienced?  When Wrex asks for my help outside and the wind is howling, so I jump up to help him with a good attitude (obedience) or complain and tell him to make it snappy?  Well, that was all fun to write… *ahem*

I just can’t help but think that if it blesses His heart that we wait on Him before we make the big decisions in our life, how much MORE does it bless Him when we call on Him for EVERY decision in our life?  It’s why we have to stay hooked up. It’s why we have to be in the Word.  It’s why we have to have Scripture memorized and dropped in our hearts.  It’s why we have to respond and not react.  It’s why we have to consciously choose obedience in all the little things just as carefully as we would for the big things…because all the little things?  They become the big things…

Lord, help me to have a heart that chases after you in ALL things.  You are worthy of my obedience in every phase and every stage and every minute…

How in the World Did We Get Here: Epilogue

As much as we love our cute little farmhouse, leaving Denver wasn’t necessarily easy.  We have so many incredible friends (who we consider family) that we had to leave behind and that part was heartbreaking.  We’re still in Colorado and we’re only three hours away, but we knew things wouldn’t be the same anymore; we can’t just run down the road for every birthday part or baby dedication or weekend get together.

We grew up a lot while we were in Denver…in a lot of different ways…

We worked hard, got out of debt and discovered the freedom that brought…

We found a church home that we loved and the Lord used it to grow us and challenge in so many ways…

I went on my first missions trip and that changed my worldview forever…

We went on our first missions trip together and learned that poor doesn’t just involve your bank account, but your spirit and mindset, too…

I left the working world to become a stay-at-home wife and mom…

We got to be involved with a huge Christian music festival that sought to make Jesus the headliner.  We got to see it through from conception to actualization and we learned more than could be put into words…

We had our first baby…

I was involved in several Bible studies with some amazing women whose knowledge and fervor for the Lord forever changed my life…

We just got to do life with people who walked with us, and allowed us to walk with them, through the nasty storms of life – death, divorce, infertility, debt, unemployment, illness, infidelity…and the beauties, too – restoration, redemption, birth, life, success, marriage, freedom.  Our bonds with these people were developed and strengthened and intensified and leaving them was hard.  Still is…

Some days, my heart still longs to be there instead of here.  There are days when the road is muddy and I need milk and I don’t want to load up two kids and drive 20 miles just to pay $5 for a gallon and then pay $4/gallon for fuel to get back home and then get stuck in the driveway and have to haul two kids and two gallons of milk through muck and mire to get to the front door.  Yeah, those days, I wish I were in the city.

Or the days where I just wish I could call up a few friends, whose hearts I know and trust because they’re more like sisters, and we could meet at Starbucks or someone’s home and our kiddies could play while we talk about what the Lord is doing and how we need to adjust our lives accordingly and we don’t have to preface anything or explain anything, they just know and get it and understand.  Yeah, those days, I miss Denver.

It’s hard moving somewhere new- especially to a small town, where most people are already established, and have been since birth.  While we’ve met some incredible people who’ve been more than good to us out here on the plains, it doesn’t always feel the same.  And maybe it won’t…ever.

The days when I start questioning or feeling frustrated or lonely or nostalgic, I have to go back to the summer of 2011 and remember His oh-so evident hand in this and it’s there that I find peace that this IS where we’re supposed to be.  That’s one of the beauties of obedience…I have the pleasure of understanding that we know that we know that we know that this IS where the Lord called us to…this IS His doing.  We were obedient to His urging and calling so we can stand on that.  We did what He asked us to do… 

When we obey God, we can trust that He will display His goodness and love to us.  And He has.  Oh, He has…and will.

Luckily, the Denverites still call and come visit and invite us out and our new friends do the same.  One of His blessings, indeed.

How in the World Did We Get Here: Part 2

We tossed the sheets in the wash, locked the doors and headed eight hours south to Booker, Texas.  One of our good friends from college worked as the head cattle buyer at the plant and had told the owners about Wrex.  With the drought hitting so hard in Texas, they knew cow numbers would soon be short and that they’d need to expand their buying circle.  They wanted to get a northern buyer trained and in place, but weren’t in just a huge hurry to do so; they wanted it to be the right kind of person.  Unfortunately, the cow buying business has it’s fair share of crooks and traders and this company had worked been working for a few years on cleaning up their buyer staff.

There are several owners and shareholders and only a few of them live around the Booker area.  As the Lord would have it, Wrex got to meet several out of staters, including a fellow Nebraskan.  That pretty much sealed the deal!  HA!  Kidding…but I’m sure it didn’t hurt.  Those Huskers gotta stick together…  It wasn’t a formal interview, but he was there most of the morning; a good four hours or so.  We ate lunch, said our goodbyes and then continued on to visit my side of the family.

For years, we’d talked about the possibility of him buying cows for an outfit; it’s a job that he’d been groomed for his entire life.  We didn’t have any doubts that he’d enjoy the work and he felt like things went well, but we left not knowing exactly what they were thinking.

We had a good time seeing my parents and brother and then traveled further south to see my mom’s extended family.  We don’t get down there often enough just because of time, money and distance, so it was nice to be able to have a few extra days with them.  It’s hard to have “time off” when you help run a farming/ranching operation so this was, by far, the longest visit we’d had with them since we’d been married.

They were all so sweet and were scurrying around trying to find Wrex a job down there, which would’ve been a-ok with me, bearing I could hack that heat and humidity.  I have gobs of incredible memories tied to their little area of Texas.  At the time, my grandma had already been moved into an assisted living facility and her house was on the market, as she wouldn’t be going back.  We got to stay there for what would be the last time – an incredibly bittersweet thing for me.  Talk about memories being bound to a place…we spent every Christmas and summer there since I was born and Wrex and I were married on their acreage.  It was hard to leave and at the time, every fiber of my being was just screaming for a job there so we could buy the house and keep the place alive, but it wasn’t meant to be.  I’ll always cherish that piece of our trip and I most definitely view it as a sweet little gift that the Lord gave me in the midst of an erratic time in our lives.

Once in Oklahoma, the Lord was so faithful!  We were really beginning to wonder what our next move was.  We knew we had to go back to Colorado for a few days, but then what?  He just showed us time and time again that He wasn’t absent from the process.  From people calling with words (rhemas) for us or the message at church we felt led to attend one Sunday morning that was titled, “What to do in the time of transition.”  Yeah.  That was us…and He was with us.

That Monday, Wrex got a phone call that ended in a job offer from the packing plant in Booker; they wanted him to come on as their northern cattle buyer.  He’d train in Texas for three months and then move up north and establish himself…somewhere.  They would give him a set of barns he was to buy in on a weekly basis, but he would be able to determine the specific community in which to settle.

After a day’s worth of prayer, we felt full release for him to take the job!  It felt so right and like a huge, heavy weight had been lifted off of our shoulders.  They settled on a start date, we hit the road back to Colorado to tie up a few more loose ends and grabbed a few little necessities out of storage – like a crib and a bed and a kitchen table – so that we could make ourselves at home in Texas….again.

****Part 3 is my favorite – stay tuned!****

How in the World Did We Get Here: Part 1

Our little, ole farm house is all tucked snuggly under a blanket of snow this morning as fresh flakes are starting to fall again.  Let it be known that I don’t mind that one bit.  In my book, if it’s gonna be cold it might as well snow.

Not a creature was stirring...
Not a creature was stirring…

We’ve lived here two and a half years although it doesn’t feel near that long.  Earlier this morning, I was reflecting on how exactly we got here.  It was all Him, friends.

Wrex worked for a family company in Denver that had their fingers (successfully) in quite a few niches; ear tags, farming, purebred cattle, show goats, horses.  He had an active role in each of those endeavors and thus worked A LOT.   The situation wasn’t ideal and became less so after Sawyer was born.  A lot of mornings, Wrexy left before she was awake and came home after she was in bed and that was definitely not how we wanted to raise our family.  It would’ve been different if it was our land or our cattle or our company and we were investing this time and energy into something for our future generations, but that wasn’t the case.

So after lots of intense prayer and discussion, we knew that the Lord was calling us away from there.   On his 29th birthday, he gave his one month notice and we stepped out in faith…no job lined up, no place to live (as we were living in company supplied housing), no idea where to go…we just knew that working there was no longer obedience, but that stepping away was. 

We spent our evenings together praying and job hunting and packing.  Our house was nothing fancy but we had made a lot of special memories there.  It was the place we celebrated our first five anniversaries…the place we brought our first baby home to…the place where we hosted friends who became our roommates for a season…the place where we threw card parties and goat dehorning work days and family get togethers.  Even though we knew that our leaving was the right thing to do and that it was what the Lord was asking of us, it still stung a little.  Obedience isn’t always easy…

W spent his days tying up as many loose ends as possible.  By the end of the month, the contents of our home were moved into a storage container and we?  We were jobless and homeless…but not hopeless. 

The job part never really concerned me for several reasons.  One, I knew that we were walking in obedience so I had no doubt that the Lord had something lined up for us; He wouldn’t call us away and then hang us out to dry.  Two, Wrexy has more skills in more different areas than any person I’ve ever met.  I often tell him that he’s handicapped me as a do-er.  If something breaks or isn’t quite right or needs a little finesse, I don’t even try anymore – I just wait for him to get home because he’ll fix it in a jiffy and in a way better manner than I ever could.  Plus, he’s the most loyal, hardest working, social genius on the planet.  And three, I knew that if he had to, he would work two jobs slopping hogs or serving french fries before we ever went hungry.  Before we ever left, he was offered two different jobs, but neither of them had the stamp of the Lord and as hard as it was to say ‘no’ to them, knowing that if we said yes we could stay in the same area, ‘no’ was what we said.

During that first week of our new found homelessness, some of our favorite friends were on vacation and they allowed us to stay in their home.  This was such a huge blessing to us as we finished taking care of last minute business things and fully getting a plan in place for what was next.

We spent a lot of time in the quiet together that week.  It’s a weird feeling, especially for a type A planner to not have a plan…but to know that THE plan was to be obedient to the Lord. There is blessing in obedience – I’ve experienced that richly! I’ve also experienced the consequences of disobedience and I didn’t want to venture there again.

We prayed continually that the Lord would make our schedule for us and that He would provide us with the job that Wrex needed to say ‘yes’ to…wherever that may be.  We knew that He knew our hearts in wanting more family time and He knew our hearts in wanting Wrex to have a job that was rooted in agriculture; a job that wouldn’t find him stuck behind a desk and a job that he enjoyed.  This whole process had happened so fast and was so outside of ourselves that we had no other option but to have hope; confident expectancy in the goodness of God.

As the week was coming to a close, we made plans to visit my family in several parts of Texas and then Wrex’s sister and grandma in Oklahoma and Kansas before heading back to Colorado to finish out a ministry event we were a part of.  We had cleaned up behind ourselves and packed what we needed for a few weeks on the road with a 10 month old, when Wrex got a call that we needed to stop at the tip-top of Texas before we ventured further south; a meat packing plant wanted to meet him and see if he was a fit for their company.  Maybe, just maybe, this was it?