February 2016 archive

Some Days are Hard

Some days are hard.

Being a mom is the best job I’ve ever had, and it’s the hardest.  Send me 1,000 volunteers and 200 staff and 43 databases and I’ll manage them all day long, but sometimes managing three wee ones gets the best of me.

Today?  Is one of those days.

The morning started with the kids saying something that wasn’t meant to be mean or hateful (I can only assume) but it touched on a brokenness inside my heart that hasn’t healed…and it hurt as I tried not to show them that it did.  Ever have those moments?  Maybe it’s just me.

Being a stay-at-home parent has more advantages than disadvantages and I fully believe that that is what the Lord has assigned for our family…but it doesn’t always make you the “fun” or “popular” parent.  I’m with them 24 hours a day and have the responsibility to correct and teach and guide.  I’m the one that has to spread my time between each of my littles and cooking three meals a day and feeding Sayble more meals than that and changing diapers and clothes and make sure I’m eating properly so I don’t send myself down the blood sugar spiral and getting the laundry done and making sure this place isn’t a pig sty and teaching school – none of which I hate, it just doesn’t always leave a lot of room for outrageous, spontaneous memories or experiences.

And I’m not one of those moms that thinks that every hour should be spent doing a new Pinterest activity or playing in a sensory box;  I’m a HUGE believer in independent, creative play – especially outside – I just want to best use my time to leave a legacy worth leaving with my kids.

My hope is that despite all of my misgivings and failures as a mom, that one day my kids will truly understand all I did for them…understand all I did because I loved them…understand that we tried our best to be fair and consistent and loving in our discipline…understand that being a parent is hard work and that I went to bed most nights wishing I could do the day over again…understand that there is nothing I wouldn’t attempt to do for them or because of them…understand that my love for them knows no bounds or limits or conditions…understand that even on the hard days, I wouldn’t trade what I do for the world.

I don’t know if there has been anything in my life that has made me crawl to the cross more than being a mom…

Last week, Wrex heard the Eric Church song called Three Year Old.  He had me listen and I was a blubbering mess because it reminded me so much of Wryder.  I was outside playing with the kids at the time and they asked why I was crying and I was attempting to explain to them how much I loved them.  Wryder stopped everything he was doing and in the sweetest little voice said, “We wuv you too, mommy.”  The rest of the day, he was extra attentive to me and it was so sweet and so needed.

That night at supper, he kept putting his little arm around me and his hands felt so sweet and tiny.  He wanted to take an usie and even though I look rough in this picture, I will treasure it always…

That face...

That face…

 

We’ve made it through lunch.  That counts for something, right? 

Nap time is here.  I’ll collect myself and pull up my boot straps and tackle the afternoon.  That’s what we do, isn’t it?

To all you mommies out there who might be struggling with me today, I salute you!  You’re doing a good job.

Keep pointing their hearts toward Jesus.

Keep loving them no matter what.

Keep teaching them and training them and guiding them in the ways that they should go.

Keep your eyes on the Perfect Parent.

Keep singing, “Oh, Lord I need you.  Every hour I need you.  My one defense.  My righteousness.  I need you, oh I need you.”  (If you ever hear me mumbling this, now you know…)

And drink a Dr. Pepper.  That’s the best advice I’ve got.

Worth 1,000 Words: Park Play

Sometimes we wished we lived closer to the rest of our family; a lot of them live in Oklahoma now and all of my family is still in Texas.  I love Texas, for the most part.  It’s a bit hot…and humid in some places.  Oklahoma is much the same, just throw in some extra tornadoes ALL YEAR ROUND.  Not a fan.

I still remember being in Stillwater 5 years ago this July…Wrex and I went outside at 10:30 at night and our Colorado brains had us fooled that it would be somewhere between 60-70 degrees out.  Nope.  After the wave of thick, wet heat slapped us across the face, we jumped on the weather app.  93 degrees.  STILL.  At 10:30 at night.  Who the heck would wanna live there?! 

My sister-in-law says you get used to it and I suppose you do.  We’re just spoiled rotten up here in this mild, no humidity, very little severe weather climate.

Today was no exception.  Tomorrow won’t be either.  It’s February.  And we did have a blizzard a few weeks back…but today?  It’s 61 and gorgeous out.  Tomorrow is supposed to be in the 70s, down to 60s the rest of the week.  Sublime.

With that in mind, we did what any logical stay at home mom would do – we had a picnic at the park!  And then we skipped naps – well, the bigger two did – because it was just to purdy to stay inside…

Swinging is FUN!

Swinging is FUN!

She's such an awesome big sister!

She’s such an awesome big sister!

Sayble's first big slide ride

Sayble’s first big slide ride

I *think* she liked it...

I *think* she liked it…

This boy...love his adventurous spirit!

This boy…love his adventurous spirit

Isn't she just the sweetest?!

Isn’t she just the sweetest?!

My heart on a rock

My heart on a rock

These guys are out exploring and I’m about to go prep the trim on the front of the house for a little paint.  Enjoy this beautiful day…because you know we’ll get a snow storm in May…

Signed, Sealed, Delivered

Several years ago, I did a study on covenant (and I’ve written about it here before).  To say it changed my life and the way I understood the Lord and His word is a COMPLETE understatement.  It. was. AMAZING and completely fascinating.  (It’s honestly, one of my favorite things to talk about EVER so if you have questions, let’s chat!)

In studying Abraham, the topic of covenant comes up again.   In Biblical times, people would “cut a covenant” as a way of making a binding, holy, irrevocable contract.  To cut a covenant, they would perform a covenant ceremony.

I won’t go into a lot of detail here but we’ll use Wrex and Stef as an example.  Not every culture did every step but as a whole, it looked like this:

  1. Exchange of robes – which symbolized the exchange of identities
    1. Wrex would wear Stef’s coat and Stef would now wear Wrex’s
    2. If they were seen walking from afar, someone would think Wrex was Stef or Stef was Wrex because they were wearing the other’s coat
    3. It creates a melding or confusion of identities
  2. Exchange of belts – which symbolized the exchange of strengths or assets
    1. Whatever strength Wrex brings to the relationship, Stef now has; whatever strength Stef brings to the relationship, Wrex now has
  3. Exchange of weapons – which symbolized the exchange of enemies
    1. Stef’s enemies would now have to come through Wrex first and Wrex’s through Stef – we will fight for each other
  4. Sacrificial flesh
    1. animal split down middle
  5. Walk of death
    1. Wrex would walk through the middle of the split animal in a figure eight pattern; Stef would do the same.  When they were finished, they would be back where they started, facing each other.
  6. Striking of hands
    1. Each person would make an incision on their hand or wrist and intermingle their blood
    2. Some cultures still do this and use gunpowder to create a dark scar
    3. This scar would be a visible sign of a covenant
    4. Circumcision was a sign that you were in covenant with the Lord
  7. Pronouncements of blessings and curses
    1. Wrex/Stef, as long as you obey the covenant terms, blessed you shall be as you lie down and when you wake, when you go out and when you retrun
    2. BUT, if you ever disavow or violate the terms of the covenant, cursed shall you be!  What has happened to this split animal, may it happen to thee.
  8. Covenant meal
    1. Wrex feeds Stef, Stef feed Wrex (think of cake at a wedding)
    2. As you eat this, you are ingesting me…taking me into your life (and vice versa)
  9. Exchange of names
    1. Wrex becomes Wrex Phipps Hedrick
    2. Stef becomes Stef Hedrick Phipps
  10. Sealing of the covenant
    1. Test it/prove it/see if it’s real

So those are the steps to cutting a covenant.  Isn’t that fascinating?!  Marriage is as close as we get to creating a blood covenant (it can still be broken through divorce) so you can see a lot of how those steps pertain to a wedding ceremony…

If that’s not fascinating enough, let’s look at it through the lens of Jesus creating a covenant with us in the New Testament.   So this time, let the parties be Jesus and Stef…

  1. Exchange of robes – exchange of identities
    1. Stef gets a robe of righteousness; Jesus gets a robe of sinfulness
    2. Every time the Father looks at Stef, all He sees is righteousness
  2. Exchange of belts – exchange of strengths
    1. Stef gets every strength and power Jesus has; we can walk in His authority
  3. Exchange of weapons – exchange of enemies
    1. Stef’s enemy?  Death.  Jesus took on death and beat it when He arose from the grave after 3 days
    2. Jesus’ enemy?  Satan – who Stef battles now (Ephesians 6)
  4. Sacrificial flesh
    1. Jesus was the living sacrifice; He hung on a cross and died and at his death, the veil of the temple was torn in two (Matthew 25)
  5. Walk of death
    1. To be in covenant with and follow Jesus, we have to lay down our life and follow His (Matthew 16)
    2. We are dying to self and following Him
  6. Striking of hands
    1. Jesus’ hands/wrists upon being nailed to cross
    2. Circumcision of the heart
      1. I will walk in righteousness and disallow sinfulness
  7. Blessings and curses – this one’s interesting
    1. There are SO many blessings and promises He has for us under the New Covenant through His death (I’ll never leave you or forsake you, I’ll supply all your needs, we are a joint heir with Christ ) – but were are the curses?
    2. Curses are no more.  Our sin was the curse and through Him taking our sin through death, they are no more
  8. Covenant meal
    1. Lord’s supper
  9. Name exchange
    1. We take on His name – christian – one who is of Christ
    2. Son of Man – Jesus is identified many times in this way in the New Testament; He took on our name (man)
  10. Sealing of covenant

This is the one that got me….number ten.  Like, really got me.

To test the covenant, covenant partners would exchange their oldest sons.  That’s pretty serious business, yes?  Bearing we weren’t married and just using my first example from above, Wrex would handover his oldest son to me and I would hand over my oldest son to him.

So, look at it through the lens of the New Testament covenant.  Our Father sacrificed His oldest Son, Jesus, to prove to us the covenant is real…it’s true…it can be trusted.  The things He promises us through it WILL be brought to fruition!  Because Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice, we don’t have to sacrifice anything in a living sense.  Our sacrifice is spiritual; we must die to ourselves and allow Him to be in charge of our lives.

Now, look at that through the lens of Abraham.  Remember what the Lord had him do?  He asked him to sacrifice Isaac.  Can you even imagine?! 

Isaac wasn’t a young man at this time; he was able to carry a bundle of wood up a mountain (for his own sacrifice, mind you).  Abraham loved and trusted the Lord enough that he was going to be obedient no matter the cost.  If he lost Isaac, he would lose everything; Isaac was the one and only heir to all he had been promised by the Lord…

And so he did.  They climbed the mountain and just as Abraham was about to kill Isaac, an angel of the Lord stopped him.  The Lord had seen that Abraham was serious about this test and the covenant they had made together so the Lord spared Isaac.

As I was studying this last step, I was overcome with emotion.  The sealing of the covenant.  I don’t know that I could do what Abraham did…  I’d like to think I could, but would I?  I began to wonder what in my life IS the sign of the covenant I have with the Lord?  What has He asked me to sacrifice, and what have I sacrificed, as a sign of His covenant with me?  What have I given over that says to Him, I am keeping my end of the deal…that I’m upholding our covenant together?

That really struck me and caused a lot of serious introspection.  Does my life look like I’m in a covenant with the one true God?

The beautiful thing about this covenant is it’s a Suzerain Covenant, which is a covenant not between equals, but a covenant when one person has everything and the other has nothing.  Kinda like me and Jesus. 

All He desires is my loyalty and commitment, which does involve sacrifice, doesn’t it?

We can’t be in covenant with Him and be serious about it and continue on living a life of repetitive sin.

We can’t be in covenant with Him and be serious about it and make decisions based upon our fears or wants or desires without ever asking Him what He has for us.

We can’t be in covenant with Him and be serious about it if we don’t make room for Him as a priority in our lives.

We can’t be in covenant with Him and be serious about it if we continue to water down the truth of the Word and make our own interpretations of right and wrong.

It’s been something that’s been rolling around my head and heart the past couple of weeks and I’m aiming to keep my end of the deal.

I know that I will sin.

I know that my record won’t be perfect.

I know I will fall short.

And I know that the work He did on the cross and His grace alone will cover these things, but I still wanna do my best to live a life that’s signed over to Him…a life sealed with a covenant…a life of witness to the deliverance He’s set forth in me.

I Heart Heart Day

I know I’ve mentioned it before – I’m a sucker for Valentine’s Day!  Hate all you want; I think setting aside a day to really go out of our way to show someone we love them is a fine way to spend our time.  Who doesn’t love that?!

For Fun Friday, the kids helped make cupcakes!

Lining the pan

Lining the pan

Getting hers done, too!

Getting hers done, too!

My mixer

My mixer

Decorating them is obviously the best part…and I always feel like SUCH a good mom afterwards because it really pushes me outside of my comfort zone.  I’m not the biggest fan of messes or 501 little, round sprinkles all over the place but I do it because I love them.  And it’s fun.

Intensity

Intensity

Yep, those are the ones...

Yep, those are the ones…

They turned out REALLY cute!

They turned out REALLY cute!

And, of course, Wryder had to be rewarded for his efforts…

YUM!

YUM!

Our sweet friend/mail lady, Pam, brought goodies to the house in the form of chocolate bars (which Wryder inhaled!) and mail from friends.  We sent her home with a cupcake, too!

On Saturday, I woke up to this gorgeousness…

Swoon.

Swoon.

I LOVE getting flowers!  I vow not to be the woman who thinks they’re a waste of money because all they do is die.  They are life and they bring life – I’m a big fan.  :)

I loved the balloon, too!  I remember when I was growing up that I always, always wanted a helium, mylar balloon, though I don’t know that I ever asked for one.  It was either my tenth or twelfth birthday, my parents got me several and I was over the moon!  I kept them deflated and pinned to my bulletin board until I left for college.  I kinda wish I still had them… 

Wrexy knew my love for them and surprised me with a huge one!  Wryder and Sawyer though we should practice letting the cat jump through the center.  I vetoed that.  *ahem*

We were saving our steak dinner for Valentine’s day so I decided to make heart hamburgers (with bacon, of course) for lunch.

Nothing says love like beef...

Nothing says love like beef…

and bacon!

and bacon!

The kids LOVED this!  Especially the bacon part – a treat around here!

YUM!

YUM!

Sawyer, of course, dressed for the occasion – heels and all!

Oh, this girl...

Oh, this girl…

Sunday, we went to church and ate a little chinese food for lunch…

Those sweet smiles!!!

Those sweet smiles!!!

Handsome!

Handsome!

We found out Sayble REALLY likes ice cream like her PaPa!

Get that spoon over here!

Get that spoon over here!

Oh yeah...that's more like it!

Oh yeah…that’s more like it!

Then we came home to check on the gentlemen working on our shop and barn.  The shabby chic will soon be no more as we’re getting tin put on.  The shop is almost done and then they’ll throw the sides of the barn on.

The shop, minus the trim and doors

The shop, minus the trim and doors

I'm afraid I may miss this guy's worn, weathered look...

I’m afraid I may miss this guy’s worn, weathered look…

We have scrimped and saved and my hubby has worked his tail off so we could do this little project; we are so excited that it’s getting closer to done!  It’s gonna look pretty fancy around here…or at least a little less shabby.

It was a good weekend!  I posted this on Facebook but I’ll post it here, too.

In the midst of all of our Valentine shenanigans, Sawyer made a crown and hung it on the wall at our dinner table.

King of Kings

King of Kings

She said it was so we would remember that Jesus loves us.

My heart delights that she knows this already and I pray she takes Him at His word. He LOVES us…without condition or premise…and despite our past (or even our present) situations!

He IS the lover of our souls; the lead role in the greatest love story ever told. We can’t outrun His love, friends – it will always find us…  Let him…

Random Rambles

The  snow is finally starting to melt a bit around here.  There’s no telling how long I’ll be dealing with mud instead.  I’m not sure which is worse when it comes to keeping kids and shoes and floors and cars clean…

It's everywhere!

It’s everywhere!

I’d say we had about a foot of snow but some of the craziest drifts we’ve ever had.  In our almost five years here, we’ve never had to have the neighbors rescue us but we had to call in the big dogs this time.

Thankful for such wonderful neighbors!

Thankful for such wonderful neighbors!

The high winds have blown even more snow around and our road has blown shut at least four times.  Needless to say, we finally got out today to buy groceries and run a few errands.

The kids have sure had a ball playing on the big mounds daddy made, though!

King and queen of the mountain!

King and queen of the mountain!

We also took time to make some snow ice cream!  We made a picture scavenger hunt for the kids using our cell phones.  We’d text them a picture of something in the house like this:

??

??

and they’d have to figure out where exactly it was.  There, they’d find an ingredient needed to make snow ice cream!

YUM!

YUM!

Making memories

Making memories

She LOVED it!

She LOVED it!

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You know those friends who don’t feel like friends at all?  The ones that feel like you’re long lost sisters or, at the very least, sisters of the heart?  Yeah.  Those.  I’m quite fortunate to have a few of those in my life and it saddens me that none of them live close to me.  My head and heart have yet to reconcile how the Lord can so lovingly plop someone in your life and then makes you live so far from each other…..

My friend Emily is one of those friends.  I met her at a trade show when we were in Denver and there was just that instant connection.  She is so kind and spunky, a marketing maven and an event planner extraordinaire…and she has red hair!  (Just a wee bit jealous, I am!)  She has the sweetest husband and parents and kids!  Oh, and if you wanna build a house and have it decorated to the hilt, call this girl!

We had the privilege to attend a Super Bowl party in their new digs – SO. MUCH. FUN.  Their house is BEAUTIFUL and so warm and inviting and she IS the hostess with the mostest.

She had a photo booth and games for the kids…

CUTIES!

CUTIES!

Wryder giving it a try...

Wryder giving it a try…

Sawyer's turn!

Sawyer’s turn!

We had food out the wazoo and everything was sooooo goooood!  I made a few of these guys…

Be still my sweet tooth

Be still my sweet tooth

The kids LOVED Emily and her family!

Two of the sweetest girls I know!

Two of the sweetest girls I know!

Wryder took a special liking to Papa.  They shared bowls and bowls and bowls of caramel corn and stories on the couch.

SO sweet!

SO sweet!

The night only got better with that Bronco win!  These guys had a ball and looked cute doing it!

Not sure she REALLY knew what was going on...

Not sure she REALLY knew what was going on…

But this guy did!

But this guy did!

As did this little fan!

As did this little fan!

THANK YOU, Justin and Emily for such a wonderful night!  I’m voting with the kids that we just move on down to Wild Horse, too…

****************

Someone has joined the thumb-sucker ranks around here.

EEP!

EEP!

We fought the battle hard with Wryder and thankfully he just sucks his thumb as he goes to sleep; not ideal, but at least it’s not all day, every day.

Sayble has surprised us.  She’s a closet thumb sucker……but it’s so. darn. cute.

Tell me that's not cute?!

Tell me that’s not cute?!

****************

Sawyer was looking so cute in a little outfit the other night and I wanted to snap a quick pic of her.  Of course, she pulled out all of her poses….  Good grief, I love this girl!

IMG_7221IMG_7220IMG_7219IMG_7218****************

Wrex and I have been teaching a Financial Peace University class at the local community college on Tuesday nights and it has been SO cool!  Dave Ramsey’s directives helped us get out debt and we wanted to share the wealth of knowledge we’ve amassed and give others some HOPE for their financial situations, too!

I firmly believe the Lord had us teach this so that we could further our journey to even more financial freedom, wealth building and extravagant giving.  We feel so renewed and reinvigorated regarding our finances.  Bring it on, 2016!

****************

For my “midnight” snack last night, I had some almonds and a fruit and veggie smoothie.  I’ll be the first to admit that it didn’t LOOK very appetizing.

Hmmmmm

Hmmmmm

I used spinach, kale, blackberries, chia seeds and a little unsweetened almond milk.  Even though it didn’t look very tasty, it really was!

Wrex humored me and took a little taste.  He choked it down but swore it wasn’t as good as the frosty he had at lunch.  Oh, to be able to eat 8,000 calories a day and still be at my fighting weight….

****************

Sawyer’s been wanting to sew lately, so we got out her little sewing machine yesterday and she went to town!  She made these shorts for Wryder.

:)

:)

They ended up a little small but her decorative elements made up for it, don’t ya think?!

****************

This family of mine is just the bees knees.  Days with them are the best days……

Kids Say the Darnedest Things

Our kids crack me up!  I often wonder what we did for entertainment before their joy knocked us off of our feet with belly laughs.  Enjoy a few quotable moments from the past few weeks…

*****************

I walk into the mudroom and I could tell by the smell that the cat had just finished it’s business in the litter box.

Me: “Oh my word!  Oh my gosh!  It stinks awful out here!  Oh, sick…”  (There may or may not have been some dry heaving…)

Sawyer: “What?  Is Wryder out there?”

*****************

In discussing our neighbors pregnancy, Sawyer and I were attempting to guess whether we thought she was having a boy or a girl.

Sawyer: “If it’s a girl, she’s in luck.  If it’s a boy……she better watch out!”

*****************

After I had gone to the doctor last week, we ran to Ogallala to grab my prescription and get some lunch.  I wasn’t feeling well and we sat in the Wendy’s drive-thru for what felt like forever.  Apparently, Sawyer thought so, too…

Sawyer: “For such a small car, they’re sure ordering a lot of food!”

*****************

After we pray with the kids before bed, we always let them choose a little song for us to sing to them.  Silent Night was a pretty popular one around Christmas (still is!) and we would often sing more than one verse.

Wrex: “What song do you want to sing tonight?”

Wryder: “The diaper one!  The diaper one!”

Wrex: wracking his brain to figure out which one it is, going over lyrics in his head…

Wryder: “Daddy, you know how it goes. Jesus, Lord of diaper…

Or ‘Lord of THY BIRTH…either one…

*****************

Apparently, truly understanding lyrics for a two year old can be quite difficult.  He loves “Springsteen” by Eric Church because he loves the “whoa, whoa, whoa–o–o–” part.

Wryder: “Mom, what’s bong-a-rong mean?”

Me, puzzled: “Bong-a-rong…where did you hear it at?”

Wryder: “On the whoa-whoa song.  ‘I’m on fire and bong-a-rong’…”

Or, born to run…again, either one.

*****************

Little Wryder does keep us on our toes!  After one of his shenanigans the other day…

Sawyer: “Good job having that kid!  He’s hilarious!”

*****************

Eating Cherrios one morning for breakfast…which he’s done at least once a week since he was 18 months old…

Wryder, whining: “I can’t eaaaaaat these!”

Me: “Why???”

Wryder: “Because they have HOLES in them!”

Oh, the agony…

*****************

While watching part of the NFL honors…

Sawyer: “What was that guy’s name again?  John Noodle?”

It was either Cam Newton or Anquan Boldin – still not sure who she meant!  You can only guess what her new nickname is around here….

*****************

Eating lunch in Subway and this cute, middle-aged blonde lady comes in wearing a little, white Bronco’s jacket.  Sawyer and I were talking about how cute it was and she must’ve heard Sawyer going on and on about it, so she came over to chat with the kids after she got her food.

I could tell pretty quickly that Wryder thought she was about right so he started pulling out all the stops, flirting with her.

Wryder: “Hi!  I’m Wryder…WD, that’s me!  I’m 2 and I have spikey hair.”

Sweet/cute blonde lady:  “Well, hi Wryder.  I like your spikey hair.”

Wryder: “Hey, do you wanna hear a Bible verse?  For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and self-discipline.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthen me.  They shall call him Immanuel which means, God with us.  Depart from evil and do good.  Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever.   Hey, do you wanna hear a Broncos cheer?  B-R-O-N-C-O-S, Broncos are the best!”

I think she was smitten.  ;)  Wrex and I often worry about his way with the ladies, but we’re hoping that if his pick-up lines continue to be Bible verses, we might be ok…

*****************

Seriously, they are funny, right?!

Little Plus Little Plus Little Equals Big

Guys, I don’t even know what to tell you about 2016.  We’re entering the second week of February and it’s been a ride already!  I’ve always heard that following the Lord is an adventure and life has proven that very thing, time and time again.

I’ve been doing the Precept study – which you KNOW I love! –  on the life of Abraham.  It starts us right where the Lord calls Abram (soon to be Abraham) away from the place he and his family have known…away from every familiar and comfortable thing…to follow Him to a land that He would show Him…a land that the Lord promises to bless through the many descendants that shall come from the house of Abram.

Intriguing offer – would you do it?  We’d all like to think we would, wouldn’t we?  But sometimes, it’s not so easy.  There are memories and relationships and impossibilities (seemingly, of course) and details to hash out and things to pack and things to mull over and think about and ideas to bounce off of our friends and confirmations to get and and and!   But Abram made it look easy; the text simply says, “So Abram went…”  What faith, yes?!  I feel like I can definitely relate to this part of the story because it reminds me so much of how we got to where we are now…  We had $5000 in a savings account, nowhere to live, nowhere to go and no job waiting for us; all we knew was we were supposed to go, so go we did.

One of the many things that I love about the story of Abram besides his faithfulness to the Lord, is the Lord’s faithfulness to Him.  Even in his sin and his lies and poor decisions, the Lord still acts on His behalf and kept leading Him on in the way he already said that he would go…

It has been such a beautiful reminder for me the past couple of weeks.  I so badly want to be obedient to Him – isn’t it the least that I could do?  Isn’t the blessing that comes from obedience worth the discomfort of a new thing?

In that search for knowing obedience and knowing His will, Abram settles my soul that should I misstep, should I have heard wrong, should I have made the poor choice…He’s not leaving me.  He’s not forsaking me.  Should I willfully disobey, He will HATE my sin of disobedience but continue to love me just as He has done before my birth.  That’s a beautiful thing, yes?

Sometimes waiting on the Lord is strenuous…especially for a control freak person who is very type A and likes to have all of their ducks in a row and have them in a row immediately.  Don’t ask me how I know.  *ahem* 

I’m at the point that I just wanna do what He wants me to do and I don’t even care what that is.  Not a bad place to be, eh?

I look at Abram’s story and it’s wrapped up in such a nice little bow that it makes the obedience part look easy.  The Lord said, “do this,” so Abram did.  He traveled here and built an altar…he traveled there until the Lord spoke again…he went on his merry way until the Lord gave Him some more instructions.  Well, that sounds easy enough – no wonder he was faithful! 

But when you look at the great distance he actually traveled (on foot, mind you) and all he must have encountered – all of the little hardships and happenings and rocks in the road and people he happened upon – he continually had to make choices for obedience that we don’t hear about in the text, even just in the daily grind.  It wasn’t like he magically appeared in the next town because that’s where the text picks up; he actually had to GET there and that alone wasn’t always an easy feat.

Isn’t it the day to day choices for obedience that usually get us?  I find myself begging for Him to reveal what I’m to do in the big decisions…am I good at letting Him govern the small ones, too?  When Wryder poops in his pants for the thousandth time since we started potty training, do I choose grace (obedience) and talk to him levelly or do I raise my voice?  When Sawyer continually guesses at words instead of sounding them out, do I teach her how to do it properly (obedience) or do I lose my cool?  When Sayble is fussy do I stop everything I’m doing and comfort her (obedience) or do I act inconvenienced?  When Wrex asks for my help outside and the wind is howling, so I jump up to help him with a good attitude (obedience) or complain and tell him to make it snappy?  Well, that was all fun to write… *ahem*

I just can’t help but think that if it blesses His heart that we wait on Him before we make the big decisions in our life, how much MORE does it bless Him when we call on Him for EVERY decision in our life?  It’s why we have to stay hooked up. It’s why we have to be in the Word.  It’s why we have to have Scripture memorized and dropped in our hearts.  It’s why we have to respond and not react.  It’s why we have to consciously choose obedience in all the little things just as carefully as we would for the big things…because all the little things?  They become the big things…

Lord, help me to have a heart that chases after you in ALL things.  You are worthy of my obedience in every phase and every stage and every minute…